Fictional Characters EVERYBODY should admire

Like most of my generation, I grew up watching TV. There are probably hundreds of studies that tell you watching too much TV is bad for you, they’re most likely right. However, I learned a LOT about life and myself through fictional characters and storylines. Some of the actresses behind these fictional characters have even become some of my favourite idols, and they do deserve the title “idol” because they are doing some amazing work in the activist world, and I am so happy with the fact that I get to admire the actress as well as the character. Whether I related to the character or they made me feel like I could face my own demons, I want to thank these women for making these characters so relatable and playing them so well!

Brooke Davis – Played by Sophia Bush
I admire the woman behind this character so damn much! But, before I knew who Sophia Bush was, I started watching One Tree Hill. I think most people will say that Brooke wasn’t their favourite at first, and I never thought I would warm to her. However, over the seasons, I grew to love her. The character development from spoilt, bitchy rich teenager to a successful, strong, caring and loving woman was truly amazing to me. Brooke went through A LOT and I have always admired how she always fought for herself and the ones she loved. Her battles during high school, being cheated on and losing her best friend to her unbearable mother, being attacked, losing her business, and almost dying in a trapped car are all a lot for one person to take in during their lives. Somehow Brooke always managed to get back on her feet, say something kick-ass and smile. She was an amazing character to grow up watching, learning how to deal with my own demons from a character likes hers really helped me. Although One Tree Hill is long over, I can always look back at Brooke and re-watch her strength and power through the seasons, and remember that I can get through the crap in my life.

Olivia Benson – Played by Mariska Hargitay
I started watching this wonderful woman on Law & Order SVU when I was in high school. Her soft and understanding nature with victims, and her amazingly ruthless attitude towards abusers made me love her. I went through an abusive relationship when I was in high school and for a long time I felt ashamed and at fault for what happened to me, but this show changed those views. The show has opened my mind massively and I think it’s a show that is needed so much in this day and age. I am always amazed when I watch an episode of Law & Order SVU and see they have yet another educational episode for me ( and everyone else) to watch. In a recent episode, Olivia stated she had been doing this for 19 years and it hit me that this show has been going for so long, educating us on sex crimes. I will always have so much respect for Mariska’s character and her too. She is doing great work and helping us open our eyes in the real world to the reality of sexual crimes. She recently stared in I Am Evidence and what she is doing to end the rape kit backlog is truly inspiring.

Callie Jacobs – Played by Maia Mitchell
Out of all these characters, Maia Mitchells character on The Fosters is the closest in age to me and her past is very relatable to me. Callie was my favourite character on the show from the very start. Coming across as this young girl who didn’t care about anything and had given up on being happy, fitted with my current situation at the time I started to watch the show. Callie was able to finally open up and begin to be happy when she got to the Fosters home. The whole storyline with Liam hit me hard, going through something very similar years earlier. Callie was strong and tough from the start and her kind heart and caring nature made her an amazing character to admire. She cared about everyone, always fighting for what was right even if it meant her own freedom was taken away. She taught me that just because something gets hard doesn’t mean you give up, you fight harder, you don’t give up on what you believe in and that your opinions matter.

Jo Wilson – Played by Camilla Luddington
Jo is a new woman to make this list. Some people didn’t like her character from the beginning, but there was always something about her I really liked. What I admire about this character is her bravery. She did what so many women in an abusive relationship can’t do (out of fear), she left. She ran away, she still became a surgeon, she made a life for herself. She never let him win and that is so damn admirable and definitely someone you should look up too.

Gabriela Dawson – Played by Monica Raymund
If I had to describe Dawson in three words they would be; strong, fighter, and supportive. Lets be honest, from the start of Chicago Fire, Dawson has always been someone who doesn’t let anyone walk all over her. She’s strong, she’s opinionated and she fights for what is right—much like Callie Jacobs and Olivia Benson. I love Dawson for her attitude. She’s a strong role in the show. Being one of few females in the firehouse, she makes sure the men know she isn’t any pushover. She stands her ground and follows up on what she does, I respect that.

Temperance Brennan – Played by Emily Deschanel
In many ways Brennan isn’t very similar to other women on this list, but she is admirable to me because she is strong, smart and successful. One thing I love about her character is how much she doesn’t care about what people think of her. She knows she’s smart—she doesn’t need validation. She knows she’s pretty—she doesn’t need anyone’s approval. Those are very rare qualities these days and I think it makes her an amazing woman. Women are often told by society that it matters what people think, like we need their approval for how we decide to live, it’s refreshing to see a character not give a crap about social norms. I love that.

There are so many other women on TV that I admire, both on and off screen, but these are just my top six. Maybe I’ll have some more favourites to write about soon.

Shannon x

What is school all about? – BACK TO SCHOOL.

The year was 2014 and I fled my high school as soon as the teacher said ‘good luck’ to my entire year as we sat in assembly waiting for the teachers to finish babbling on about our future and how they’re a big part of our success – haha, they were jokers them lot!

As you can gather from my opener, I HATED high school. Now, it wasn’t the learning part. I liked that part, weird right? I didn’t the students or the place. If I was to do high school again, I’d have done it a little different but in the end I think my life would have lead a similar path either way. High school was a time of pain for me, my dad died, my boyfriend hurt me badly and I was bullied. It wasn’t the best time in my life, but regardless of all that, I tried my best to power through. Teachers in high school are so intense, they are always in your face about exams and how you need to apply yourself more to your work. I think sometimes they forget your a teenager. You’re crushing on the popular lad who sits in front of you in English. You’re falling in ‘love’ for the first time, you’re getting your heart broken for the first time or the third. You’re changing physically and mentally. You’re having your first period, you’re trying to figure out how to use a tampon, you’re worried that your pad is going to move during gym and you’re gunna have a Carrie moment right there in the changing rooms. Basically, you have a lot on and to top all those lovely feelings and emotions off, you’re dealing with teachers telling you what you do now will impact you’re entire future. Truth is, it won’t.

Now, I am not saying don’t turn up and pay attention. I still think learning is important. I just don’t think 15 year olds need the stress that is put on them by high school teachers. You may get crappy GCSE results or amazing results. What’s important is what you do after that. Do you give up? No. You go to college or get an apprenticeship or get a job. Those GCSE’s won’t define your future. They can be important if you want to go to a highly respected college or uni yes. But they aren’t a deal breaker. Not getting good results isn’t the end of the world. You’re 16, you shouldn’t be putting the world on your shoulders. Neither should any teacher, parent or friend.

School is about:

1. knowledge – I do not just mean algebra, I mean life lessons. Like sex ed, finances and how to live in the real world, employability lessons and lessons on getting your house and paying your own bills. You shouldn’t just be taught that condoms are to protect against STD’s and pregnancy. You should be teaching ALL students the meaning of the word NO, how to respect the opposite sex. Telling someone how to use a condom is useless if they’re just going to rape a girl at a party because they thought ‘she wanted it’. Teach them that smacking people on the ass on the street is not okay. Why is this not being taught? Why?

2. Socializing and Connecting  – I have never understood same sex schools. I think its important that boys and girls mix in their teenage years. Most of the time they will end up growing up not knowing how to act around the opposite sex. Males and Females need to connect with the opposite sex when growing up, I think its damaging when they don’t. School is a in which teenagers can talk to their friends about familiar issues, they can talk about things they’re all going through together. I once a teacher who said ‘ you come here to learn not talk to your friends’ – never hated a teacher more in my life. Right, I am here to listen to teacher talk like they’re a walking textbook for 6 hours and then be given 2 hours of homework, so after an *entertaining* day at school I can go home, do homework, have my tea and go to bed – how interesting.

3. Change – You’re 11 when you walk into that school for the first time, everyone is massive compared to you, the building is intimidating and you’ve got a bag full of stuff you probably will never need or lose by Friday, you’re in year 7. Over the course of the next 5 years, you’re going to change. The things in your bag will change, your body will change, your thoughts and opinions will change. It’s called growing up, but so much of it is done in high school. The lessons learned, the mistakes made, the embarrassing stories forever engraved in your brain. That all happens between Year 7 and Year 11.

I wouldn’t go back to high school if someone had a gun to my head. Overly dramatic? Yes. I guess I just really hated High School.

It is September 1st 2017. A new academic year starts Monday, my brothers go back to school Wednesday (thank god) and a new year of schooling begins. One brother is going into his last year of high school – without a care in the world, may I add. Another goes into Year 9 – He doesn’t seem to bothered either to be honest. Is it a boy thing? Have a good year whether your going into High School, College, Uni or your working!

Shannon x

 

 

Current Obsessions(Music, Beauty, Books)

I have been known to get obsessed pretty easily, not in a totally creepy ‘Crazy Derek’ From OTH crazy, but still, a little obsessed is how I would describe my love for some things in life. I thought I would bring together is list of those things for this weeks blog post!

MAKEUP OBSESSIONS

Since receiving the MODEL CO BLUSH in the monthly beauty box from LOOKFANTASTIC, I haven’t worn another blusher. You get a lovely colour that lasts all day. It doesn’t look cakey when applied or go patchy during the day. All in all, it’s a lovely blusher.

BUY THE MODEL CO BLUSH HERE! – https://www.modelcocosmetics.com/shop/blush-cheek-powder

The Tattoo Colours from Maybelline New York have become one of my favourite things to use when doing my eyeshadow. Each pot contains a creamy eyeshadow that you can apply with a brush or by using your finger. They are quick and easy to use, which is a bonus for me when I only have 30 minutes to do my makeup in the morning. I have 5 at the moment, mostly neutral colours(purple and blues are a bit out there for me personally!). As well as being easy and quick to apply each pot is less then £5 in Superdrug and Boots stores!! Oh and they last all day.. win, win.

BUY THE TATTOO COLOURS HERE! –https://www.maybelline.co.uk/eyes/eye-shadow/color-tattoo-gel-shadow/creamy-beige

I live for a good lip balm, maybe that sounded quite sad, but there is no room in my life for chapped lips and its that time of year, you step out your house and you just want to turn around, go back inside and wrap yourself in 10 blankets because it’s that cold. You need to keep your lips moisturized as well! I received these 2 lip balms in the November and December Beauty Box from LOOKFANTASIC. The BEE GOOD Vanilla and Honey Lip Balm helps to soothe my lips after a day exposed to the cold and the POLAAR Lip Balm is highly moisturising

BUY THE BEE GOOD LIP BALM HERE! – https://www.lookfantastic.com/bee-good-vanilla-and-honey-lip-balm-10ml/11266147.html

BUY THE POLAAR LIP BALM GIFTSET HERE! – https://www.lookfantastic.com/polaar-the-genuine-lapland-cream-gift-set/11176920.html

SKINCARE OBSESSIONS

I got the NO7 Day and Night Creams as part of a NO7 giftset for Christmas and have nearly finished these. They work really well under makeup and give plenty of moister to me dry skin.

I swear by the Biore – free your pore, DEEP PORE CHARCOAL CLEANSER. After years of trying to find a product that actually helps defeat spots and blackheads, I come away this product, I thought ‘ I bet it’s just like the others, it will just make my skin worse’ but I was wrong. For less then £5 you’re getting an amazing product, I am sure there are better out there but why pay more for something that does the same job right? This is my 3rd bottle of this cleanser and I am sure I will be buying many more.

BUY THE BIORE CLEANSER HERE – http://www.tesco.com/groceries/product/details/?id=287840862&gclid=CNmp-MDMi9ICFQY4GQodpxkH9g&gclsrc=ds

Again, the NO7 Perfecting Body Polish was part of a giftset but since using it I have feel in love, although the product had barely no smell, my skin is left smooth and fresh after using it in the bath.

BUY THE BODY POLISH HERE – http://www.boots.com/no7-beautiful-skin-perfecting-body-polish?storeId=11352&catalogId=28501

Hair Oil! It appears from making this blog post that I don’t seem to buy many products as this is yet another product gifted or given in my beauty box. Since getting the Mythic Oil I have been using 2 pumps every time I get of the bath. It leaves your hair look silky and feeling soft.

BUY THE MYTHIC OIL HERE – https://www.lookfantastic.com/l-oreal-professional-mythic-oil-original-oil-100ml/11164053.html

BOOKS, MUSIC, MOVIES AND TV

I have been listening to a lot of different things on Spotify lately. From Ed Sheeran and Maria Mena to pop punk playlists and playlists to my favourite tv shows like the fosters and OTH.

LISTEN HERE – https://www.spotify.com/uk/

Anything 80’s. 80 movies have already been a firm favourite with me. The Breakfast Club, Pretty In Pink, Sixteen Candles and Ferris Bullers day off.

TV!! YES SOMETHING I AM OBSESSED WITH

Want a new show to watch? Check out my blog post on my top TV shows

https://lifeasshan.wordpress.com/2016/12/31/four-tv-shows-you-should-watch-in-2017/

Here is a quick list

• BONES
• THE FOSTERS
• ONE TREE HILL
• GILMORE GIRLS
• FRIENDS
• 2 BROKE GIRLS
• REVENGE
• BROOKLYN NINE NINE
• NCIS(Tony and Ziva seasons)
• LAW AND ORDER SVU

 

Reading is dreaming with open eyes

Want to laugh and cry – READ ALL THE BRIGHT PLACES. You’ll take a journey coming back from that book.

These 4 books are amazing and worth the read. All these books have the romance genre, BUT, other stories and lessons are between the lines.

 

So, your obsessions? Comment Below…

Shannon x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t hide behind self harm – suicide

When I was 13 I was adamant that at 16 I was going to get a job in America and move to New York. At 13, the idea of moving to another country was exciting, considering I didn’t have the best home life. However, at 13, I didn’t realize how hard it actually is to move to another country, let alone another continent. TV Shows like friends made me want to be apart of the city life in New York, bearing in mind I don’t even like the city, I am a countryside and seaside kind of girl. Half my wall was covered with pictures of New York and I knew one too many facts about the city, I guess my fantasy of jet setting off to another country came from the fact that running away from my  life at the time was all I wanted. I didn’t need to go to New York, I didn’t need to leave the country I live in, I just knew I needed to get away. I could use the excuse that I didn’t leave home at 16 on the fact that I didn’t have money, but if I really wanted to leave, I would find a way. Over the last 4 years I have grown, I have become stronger and a lot of things and people have got my through the hard times but I do credit myself a great deal for dealing with my issues. I could never sit here and say that I am the strongest because that’s not true, I still have moments of weakness now.

I don’t want to die, I did. I wanted to die, I didn’t want to live in a world without my dad, I didn’t want to live in a world where I couldn’t trust men, I didn’t want to have nightmares that he was hurting me again, I didn’t want to get hurt again. I won’t lie about my past, I did go through a dark period in my life, one where  I didn’t see a way out, it was horrible mainly because I didn’t know if I would ever get out of it and to this day I still worry that I am going to go back into one of those phases again and it terrifies me, I don’t want to be that scared, lonely girl I was, I have to just hope I am strong enough to deal with whatever comes at me. A couple years ago, I started getting over my dark phase but one thing that still carries with me from those days are my scars and the urge to hurt myself again. I started using self harm as a way to cope, it wasn’t about killing myself anymore, it become my way of dealing with a hard time in my life. I would turn to cutting myself to make myself feel better and too me that was more, is more scary then cutting my wrists to kill myself because like I said I don’t want to die, I just have gotten used to using self harm as a way of dealing with my pain. Why? I guess its a couple reasons. I blame myself, I blame myself for my past, I blame myself for my pain and the only way I can think of punishing myself is by hurting myself and causing myself pain. Luckily, I stopped. I stopped using self harm as a way of dealing with my pain, instead I started to do other things, like writing and drawing, I distract myself with other things but it doesn’t always work.

It’s like a drug, an addiction. Whenever I am feeling stressed, sad or angry my first thought is to break something and hurt myself with the glass, I rub my wrists, I stand and I cry and I think, I spend so long standing there trying to stop myself. It’s an urge to relieve the pain in my own way that I have used to years but I can’t, I can’t do that to my friends, my family, anyone in my life, I can’t hurt them anymore and its the only thing that stops me from hurting myself.

Why can’t I have use fantasies like moving to New York to deal with my pain, my life? Things aren’t as easy as it was when I was 13, 14, 15, 16, its different, its harder. I need to find a way of dealing with this pain that still can burden me to this day because I have a good life and amazing people in it, I can’t afford to lose any of it, not after I have come so far.

No, I no longer hurt myself

No, I haven’t attempted to kill myself in over a year

No, I don’t want to die

No, I no longer use self harm as a way to deal with my pain

Yes, I still think about suicide and self harm, I have my scars as a constant reminder

Please tell someone how you feel, you deserve to want to live as well.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Suicide/Pages/Getting-help.aspx

• Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.

• Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won’t show up on your phone bill.

• PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.

• Depression Alliance is a charity for people with depression. It doesn’t have a helpline, but offers a wide range of useful resources and links to other relevant information.

• Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.

• Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.

 

Adopt Don’t Buy

Dogs Trust alone had a 54% increase in dogs handled over during the Christmas period, with 127 unwanted dogs being given to the charity in just 2 weeks. I couldn’t be believe that over a third of these unwanted dogs were puppies. I have always favoured adoption over buying from a breeder and now that I am more involved in the dog grooming industry, it concerns me even more that charities like Dog Trusts are seeing an increase in unwanted dogs instead of a decrease. There needs to be less unwanted dogs, most of the time the sad truth is that people want a puppy or they don’t want what these centres have to offer when it comes to breeds, people are so obsessed with having a ‘cute, fluffy little dog’ that many loving and caring dogs like staff bull terriers and Greyhounds are being left at shelters and not with a loving family. But even puppies aren’t being kept long these days, as Dog Trusts alone start they were handed lots of puppies over this Christmas period.

This statement below, which I pulled from the Dogs Trust website, says everything I think is needed to say about this Christmas percentage of unwanted dogs.

Dawn Bishop, Dogs Trust Manchester Rehoming Centre Manager explains:

“After nearly 40 years highlighting our iconic slogan, “A dog is For Life, Not Just For Christmas” we hoped that this would be the Christmas message would finally sink in but it seems that, in this day and age, where puppies are readily available at the click of a button, people are still choosing to purchase a dog on impulse, without thinking about the long-term effect this will have on their life. Owners are realising that caring for a dog isn’t always an easy feat and charities like ours have to pick up the pieces when new owners decide they simply can’t give their dog the love and care it needs.”

Most people want a puppy, most want fluffy breeds like Poodles and Bichons but most of the time do not know how to look after them or their coats. People are spending upwards of £600 for cross breeds(mongrels) like Labradoodles, Golden Doodles and Cockerpoos. Why? That’s a good question because the only reason I would think as to why people are spending nearly 1,000 pound for a dog is because they want a fluffy, cute lap dog that can be used as an accessory. Why? When you could give a dog at a shelter a second chance for happiness for less then £200. Not only do you get the dog for a price drastically lower then buying from a breeder, most charities will Microchip and Vaccinate your dog for you.

This is what Dog’s Trust do for the £120 fee.

Our adoption fee is £120. ( £100 in Ballymena due to extra licence fees)

These fees help us to cover the costs of caring for over 16,000 dogs ever year. Every dog adopted from Dogs Trust is:

• Neutered (or comes with a neutering voucher if a puppy)
• Microchipped
• Vaccinated
• Vet Checked

You will also receive four weeks’ free insurance with Pet Plan and a collar and lead as well as having a pre-adoption talk to help your dog settle in.

Once they’re at home, you’ll be able to access advice from the centre team as needed for the rest of the dog’s life.

This is Carla Lane Animals In Need fee:

We will then request a rehoming fee. Almost all our dogs are £175, all our cats are £110 and kittens are £125. This includes their neutering, vaccinations, flea & worm treatment, microchipping, identity disc (dogs only), vet health check and one months free pet insurance.

I know, I would much prefer to pay £125 to rehome a beautiful dog that needs a second chance then line the pockets of these ‘breeders’ who you buy your puppies from, because most of the time, they don’t care about dogs, they are just looking for a way to make easy and quick money. We need to put these ‘breeders’ out of business and the only way we can do that is by not giving up almost a £1,000 for mixed breed dogs that aren’t even kennel club registered. I am more then sure you can find a dog you can adore and love from an animal shelter that NEEDS a home and is sat in a kennel at a shelter just waiting for you.

Here are some dogs from shelters locally to me:

Scooby At Carla Lane Animals in Need.

Eddie At Carla Lane Animals in Need

Harry At Carla Lane Animals in Need

http://carlalaneanimalsinneed.co.uk/needing-homes/dogs-needing-homes/

Charlie At Dogs Trust (LEEDS)

Ashton At Dogs Trust (LEEDS)

Bailey At Dogs Trust (Merseyside)

Fern at Dogs Trust (Merseyside)

https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/rehoming/dogs/filters/~~~~~n~

 

 

All I have left to say about these lovely dogs is I hope they all find their forever homes very soon! I really hope that people start to see how much more amazing it is to adopt then to buy! I will see you next week with another blog post!

Shannon x

Goodbye 2016 Hello 2017

Sometimes the pain will never go away. The pain of losing a family member or the heart ache from losing someone you loved. It all hurts and I wish I could say it will go away, but sometimes it just…doesn’t. I wish I could give everyone an easy fix to heartache or death but I can’t and maybe that’s because I haven’t gotten over it yet or maybe, just maybe it’s because you never get over somethings, some people. I am not talking about a May – December romance, I am talking years of trust, comprise and commitment to one person, do you ever forget that kind of love? Do you ever hear their names after years and not feel anything? Maybe after time, you do get over it but how? Because as far as I am aware loving someone for so long, and I mean LOVING someone, you must feel something when their name is mentioned or when you see them around… that’s normal right?

I’ll never forget the people that left my life, some left not because they wanted too but because they had to and some left because they wanted too. I let some leave, as much as it killed me but I needed to let them go, but no matter what, I miss them. I miss them friends I had, not because they made me a better person or because they made me happy but for one stupid reason, they remind me of a younger me and as much as I cannot be that person anymore, sometimes it’s nice to think of a time when life was easier and simpler and the only thing that made me sad was liking someone I couldn’t have and I didn’t have anxiety and I wasn’t depressed, it was all just so much easier.

Over the years I have asked my self so many questions… Where do I go from here? What will I do? Who will I be? What will I be? Questions circled my mind for what seemed like years, ever since I left high school I haven’t known what to do with myself. High school should have been this amazing thing, but it wasn’t and I couldn’t have been out those doors any faster and to be honest the thought of school now sends shivers down my spine and makes me feel sick, I hated high school, I hated my classmates the most, not the learning part, I liked that part, I still do. I tried being a chef, but decided that wasn’t for me and that it would simply be a hobby, I tried childcare but that wasn’t for me and even though I love to write, Business Admin was definitely not for me. Finally I settled on Animal Care, but until 2016, I had no idea who I wanted to be and what I wanted to be, it was scary.

However, this year a lot of things became clearer to me, my feelings, my future, my pain. It all started to make sense, it all started to become manageable.

Earlier, I talked about love and loss, something that has been a big factor in my life since I was 14. The pain of my past hasn’t gone away after 4 long years, by now, I wished it would have, but like I said, there aren’t any quick fixes to not being in pain anymore and it sucks, it really does, but its the truth. You can read article after article about moving on and getting over someone or dealing with grieve and maybe for some they work but sometimes not even the age old saying ‘It takes time’ works because no matter how much time passes I will never get over my dad dying and I will never forget my abusive first boyfriend, or my best friend who broke my heart, when I didn’t even love him.  Loving someone can be confusing, it is confusing. But so is losing someone.

I have learnt a lot the last couple years, I am not the same person I was 4 years ago, hell, I’m not even the same person I was a year ago. Everyone says that with the new year they are going to do so many new things, most never keep to these ‘New Year Resolutions’, after 3 days it’s back to life before the 31st December, we have all done it, made unrealistic resolutions we cannot keep to, but this time last year I made a couple resolutions, the most important one; To be happy. Am I the happiest I will ever be? No, but I am happy, I am very happy. I may not have everything I want and feel the way I want too all the time, but for the most part I am happy and to me, being this happy right now is all I need and want.

This time last year I was a wreck, I actually made a show of myself at a wedding in front of someone I once liked because I was so upset, angry and confused, it wasn’t one of my finest moments, let’s just say that. This time last year, I was more confused and scared about my future then I had ever been before, although I was in college during this period and getting my grades/marks up to where they needed to be, I was worried about the upcoming year. What would it hold? What would happen to me? Would I get a job? Would I pick a career path by the time I leave college? Again, lots of questions I didn’t know how to answer. I entered 2016 not knowing what was ahead for me, I was nervous.

February 2016 rolled around pretty fast, I was leaving college, insert a very nervous and over panicked(is that a word? It is now) Shannon. I passed my exams(yay) and I left my college with more confidence and more qualifications. Although March was filled with job applications and disappointment, I finally found a career path and luckily a job, an apprenticeship actually. As of April I was working, I had made new friends, I was going out on nights out and having a good time, my life felt together, but somethings aren’t meant to be and some people aren’t meant to be in your life… who knew I wouldn’t be there longer then 6 months? August was the breaking point for me, after losing one of my best friends for a new ‘friend’ and being walked all over I had to leave, I had to run as far away from that place as I could, before I found myself not wanting to be here anymore, again. Suddenly I found myself in that place again, confused, angry and upset, a place I know very well. But I am lucky, my college tutors got me a placement nearer to home and they took me on, I guess luck is on my side… well sometimes it is.

I am still at this placement, in fact as I am writing this, we still have 104 dogs in before Christmas! Don’t worry, when you read this, I’ll be relaxing, probably being lazy in bed, not waking up till 11am, eating chocolate all day and watching TV.

But, this last year hasn’t all been about work and college, no. This year I turned 18, I wore a beautiful dress to a massive wedding, went on days out with my family, I laughed with my friends and family. I faced my fears and went to a new college! I made loads of new friends, the only downside to that is… Christmas just got a whole lot more expensive, but that’s okay. I reconnected with old family members and took a step back into my childhood, remembering my dad and our happy memories. I bought clothes and shoes that I wouldn’t normally wear, I faced my fear and built up my confidence to do something daring. I found my passion to travel, explore and have adventures again, somewhere along the line I had lost that, but I found it again and my bucket list is growing evermore.

Let’s Talk About Sex! – Introduction

Hello, it’s been a long time since I last posted on this site and I would just like to quickly say sorry for not posting on here, I have been focusing on my new blog ‘creations and cravings’ which is a food blog, but I am back! I promise to be more active here from now on.

Today, I decided to start a new series on my blog called ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’. As you already know, I am a very open person, I was brought up in a house that was very open about things such as sex. I have previously stated on this site that I have had sex before, but never really went into detail, so over this new series on my blog, I will be answering questions relating to sex. I will be talking about sex, virginity, contraceptives and many other things.  

First things first, I am no expert, I am a teenage girl who has only been having sex for around 2 years. I am certainly no professional. Secondly, everything I talk about is my opinion and based on my own experiences and thirdly, these blog posts are been written for the purpose of educating people about sex and sharing my stories and views on the subject, if you believe you are too young to read these posts or don’t want to read about sex, stop reading now. I have many other posts that are ‘child-friendly’. These posts are for mature teenagers and adults, who want to read about sex and I do not need mean comments about how it is inappropriate for younger readers. I will be posting these posts in no routine, one week you may get 2 blog posts, next week you may only get one. If you have any questions relating to the subject, please feel free to tweet me, DM me or leave a comment below. It will be answered on here, anonymously.

Okay, so for the first installment, I want to talk about sex, I want to talk about how we think and talk about sex. If you feel like talking about sex is wrong, you need to get out of that mindset, sex if normal, I don’t care what part of the world you live in or what kind of household you grow up in, sex is normal, say it, say sex is normal, if you believe it isn’t you are never going to have a fulfilling sex life, it is impossible to enjoy and seek pleasure from something you feel is wrong and bad. For a couple minutes, I want you to forget the teachers at school and parents who told you that sex is wrong, I am telling you it’s a natural human thing.

Now before we move on, it is important to know the difference between ‘natural’ sex and the sex that isn’t. Yes, I did say sex is natural, but there are times when sex is made into a crime. I am talking about non-consensual sex. I am a strong believer that children and teenagers don’t just need to learn about puberty and contraceptives, but they also need to learn about consent, about what is wrong when it comes to sex, so many children fall victim to child abuse and sexual assault, because they are unaware that what is happening to them is wrong, because no-one’s told them what’s happening is not right. Yes, it’s not a nice subject to talk about, but what’s worse if a child or teenager going through abuse, alone and scared, unaware that they have rights when it comes to sex. Maybe, you can prevent teenagers pressuring other teenagers, like their girlfriend/boyfriends to have sex, by telling them at a young age that it is wrong to force someone to do something they are unready to do.

When having sex for the first time, or the 50th or 150th time, it is okay to say NO, it’s okay to say you’re NOT READY and it’s even okay to say ‘I DO NOT WANT TO’. Whether you are a girl or boy, these words are okay to say, I never want anyone to feel like they can’t say these words. I don’t care if you are in the middle of having sex, if you want to stop, say the word, you are not obligated to have sex with anyone. If you’re thinking about having sex, you need to be aware that you can say NO. I also don’t want people confusing peer pressure with being ready if you have friends or a partner that are pressuring you to do anything… let them go. NOW. Pressuring someone to do anything is disgusting and I cannot stand people like this. I have friends who had sex and others who haven’t, but I cannot imagine ever pressuring them to have sex, just because I have. Have sex when you are ready to, not when they are, everyone is different. You’re normal if you want to have sex or are having sex and you’re normal if you aren’t having sex. Remember this, when thinking about having sex.

Back to what I was saying, before I went off on one of my tangents… Talking about sex is a normal, natural thing. Whether you talk about it with your friends, parents, family member, doctor or someone like me, online ( I mean someone who has an advice blog, not same random person on the internet! REMEMBER, be careful on the internet, I will talk about sex and the internet in another post). I feel that talking about sex before having it is important, you may have questions about sex and there are people out there with legitimate, helpful answers. So, in light of this being my first blog post in my new series ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’ I thought I would answer an FAQ about ‘thinking about sex’

• How painful is sex the first time?

It depends, for me personally, it hurt like hell, it was a horrible first experience, but everyone is different. It depends on lots of different things, firstly, his size matters, if he is bigger than average(like the boy I first had sex with) then it may hurt more. Some girls find that they did not bleed or feel any pain at all, some say there was little blood and it was a little bit painful. To avoid some of the pain, be in a comfortable setting, like your bedroom, use lube or a condom for ease and take it slow and steady.

• Is sex fun/enjoyable?

Yes, sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, although it may not be a first, it should become enjoyable and fun after a couple of times. Don’t be scared to talk to the person you are having sex with about what you do and do not enjoy, to maximise your enjoyment while having sex, they say communication is key, the same applies when it comes to sex, talk to your partner about the sex, while having sex, let them know what you like and don’t like and vice visa. If sex isn’t fun and enjoyable for you then something needs to change in the bedroom!

• I want to start using birth control but I don’t want to tell my parents I’m having sex.

Unfortunately, not all parents are like my mum, some do not like the idea that their children are having sex, they think that if they do not talk about sex or contraceptives that their children won’t have sex, but that is a big mistake made by so many parents, not talking about sex doesn’t change your children having sex, they are still going to have sex, they are just going to be less informed and end up catching an STD or getting pregnant. ADULTS TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN/TEENS ABOUT SEX! ( I am talking about UK laws) If you are unsure what your laws for sex, contraceptives etc are in your country, use google to research. In the UK, you can go the doctors alone or with a friend and go on birth control, without your parents ever finding out, as the doctor cannot legally tell anyone about it, unless you are in danger or they believe you are putting someone in danger, by going on birth control, you are not doing either of those things, so you’re okay! There are many forms of birth control given by the doctors, but if you are too worried to go the doctors, buying condoms might be a better option. You can get them free at certain clinics in the UK. Another option is to ask a family member to go with you if you feel you want an adult with you. Aunties, uncles and cousins may be more understanding than your parents.

• How do I talk to my boyfriend/girlfriend about contraceptives?

Do not have sex until you two have spoken about contraceptives, staying protected when having sex is so important, there are so many STD’s out there and so many unwanted pregnancies, that not talking about this is a stupid mistake. Maybe it’s a little weird to talk face-to-face about it, okay, text them? Ask them if they are using any form of birth control and make sure to ask them before having sex, if they have condoms. It is not just the man’s job to carry condoms, so girls, make sure if you’re sexually active, you have a some on hand.

If you are thinking about going on the pill, I do have a blog post about the pros and cons of birth control, as I said I will have a ‘Let’s talk about sex’ post up soon all about contraceptives, but this one is all about the pill  – https://lifeasshan.wordpress.com/2015/01/07/proscons-being-on-the-pill/

So, before you go out and have sex, remember these few things:

• Make sure you are ready
• Make sure you are either on birth control/ have condoms
• Make sure you are comfortable talking about sex before committing to having it.
• Know that there is someone you can talk to about sex
• If you feel like someone if taking advantage of you sexually, tell someone.
• Ask questions if you have any

 

I will see you soon with another blog post on ‘Let’s talk about sex’. It should be up within the next week, if you have any questions, you can comment below or DM on twitter – LifeAsShanx, just follow me, wait for me to follow you back and send a message :). 

Shannon x

My Christmas Eve Routine

Everyone has their own Christmas traditions and routines. My family have their own ones, and I have some of my own. Today, I thought I would share my ‘Christmas Eve Routine’.

I start the evening by having a relaxing, hot, bubble bath. I use a Christmas themed bubble bar and bath bomb from Lush. I also use candles all around the bathtub and switch off the lights while in the bath. I wash my hair, cleanse my face & body, shave and use a face mask.

After getting out of the bath, I order my tea online, then I use a moisturizer on my face and a body butter on the rest of my body. I usually braid my hair, which makes it quick and easy on Christmas day. Before I braid my hair, I use a hair balm to make my hair soft and silky; I braid my hair on either side of my head and leave my hair to air dry overnight.

I get into my new pajamas and a pair of fuzzy, warm socks and wait for my tea to arrive. After my food comes I will get into bed with a hot water bottle and put on a Christmas movie, such as Elf, Home Alone or The Grinch. Once I have finished my tea, I will remain watching movies for a couple hours and I might have a few snacks like, brownies or Maltesers.

Before I go to bed around 11 pm, I refill my hot water bottles and quickly clean my room, so it is all clean and ready for Christmas day. Once I have finished cleaning, I get into bed and get a good night’s sleep.

An Open Letter To My Abusive Ex-Boyfriend.

Dear, You.

It’s still hard to put in words how I feel about you, of course, I am angry at you for all you did, but I have a whole host of other feelings about you. I doubt you realise how much you changed my life, who I am today, is not the girl I was and who I am today, isn’t a better person. When I met you, I finally felt like something good was happening in my life like I was the luckiest girls in the world, that’s probably because at the start you made me feel that way. You were always good at that, brainwashing me and making me feel so good. You were more than good at it, you had me believing all you did was my own fault like you were some amazing prince. A prince shows his princess how much he loves her with affection, loyalty and respect, but you gave me bruises and scars instead. I’ve spent 3 years trying to get over the things you did to me, I don’t think I ever will ‘get over it’. Everyone tells me it will take time and one day it will won’t affect me anymore, but honestly, I know, you will never go away. You are forever imprinted in my mind and not in a good way. No amount of counselling or medication can make me forget the pain. The words you yelled in my face, the things you did to me in the bedroom – late at night or the bruises you made on my body. There are days I think about you, usually on one of my down days. On those days, I sit and I wonder, what did I do to make you so angry? and do you know how much you have affected my life? I never have been a very confident girl, but you took the last bit of confidence I had in myself away. Do you know, I let people take advantage of that for 2 years before I realised I can stand up for myself and not get a smack around the face? After you, I had hardly anything left, I was not the same girl anymore, when I met the ‘real’ you, the abusive one, I lost everything. I lost my happiness, my confidence and my carefree spirit. Suddenly I lived in a very dark world, with monsters lurking around every corner. My eyes were opened to the horrific things that really do happen every day. This forced me to grow up too soon, I was 14 when we started dating and I had the mind of a 14-year-old when we broke up, I had the mind of 20-year-old. You forced me to grow up, you took most of my teenage years away from me. I wonder, do you have a conscience?  Someone couldn’t possibly do what you did to me and not feel at least a tiny bit guilty? You gotta get out jail free card with me, I wonder if another poor girl, will give you one. I hope she doesn’t, it would make me so happy, to see you behind bars, locked in a cage like an animal. It was very confusing, to be told you are so special one night and that you’re worthless the next. I know now, I am special and you’re the worthless one. After you, I lost all hope in boys. I become scared to leave my house, started having nightmares, found it hard to trust anybody, actually I still have issues when it comes to trusting people. I started doubting myself, telling myself I wasn’t good enough, telling myself, no-one will ever love me because I am damaged goods. There have been nights, where I have wished harm on you, wished you was dead but how’s you being dead, going to help me move on. I am still not happy, to this day but I have learnt a lot. I have learnt what did was wrong and that it was never my fault. I have learnt to be careful who I trust. I have learnt who my real friends are. I matured, It was both a blessing and a curse that I had to grow up too soon. I have learnt that not every boy is going to hurt me like you, only a few are like you. If this was a competition on who’s life is better, I would win, even with my anxiety disorder. Don’t you be thinking that you broke me because you didn’t, I am much stronger than anyone knows. I hate you but I am thankful for the lessons I learnt since being in a relationship with you.

From, Shannon.

W7 In The Nude Eyeshadow Palette Review & Swatches

I purchased the W7 In The Nude palette about 3 weeks about have found myself reaching for it ever since, when opening my eye make-up draw. I decided to review it because it is a very good palette but it does have some cons, like most things.

The In the Nude palette consists of 12 colours. 3 matte colors and the rest are shimmering colours. The eyeshadows come in a long, thin tin containers, the palette comes with a brush, that has a side for applying the eyeshadow and another side for blending/ smudging in the eyeshadow.

The 12 Colours.

(left to right)

Latte – Latte is a off cream/ yellowy cream colour. I usually use this as a base to other shadow colours.

Angel – Angel is a light pink, shimmery/glittery colour, that is great for adding a subtle sparkle to your eyes.

Venice – Venice is a less pinker and less shimmery vision of Angel.

Marilyn – Marilyn is the second matte colour and is a sheer light pink shade.

Copper Pot– Copper Pot is more of a darker pink and is very shimmering.

Sun Kissed – Sun Kissed, is a shimmery rose gold colour with copper and pink undertones.  

Alice – Alice is the last matte shade in the palette and is a purply colour with pink undertones.

Bad Manners – Bad Manners is similar shade to venice but has more copper in it, then pink.

Coffee Cup  – Coffee Cup is a dark copper shimmery shade with brown undertones.

Mud Slide -Mud Slide has pink, copper and brown undertones with a shimmer.

Tokyo – Tokyo has less shimmer and is a mix of grey and brown.

Fashionista – Fashionista has little shimmer and is a dark brown shade.
The Palette is a very pinky-shimmery palette with shades of copper and brown. It is a natural/nude palette that is great for everyday use as most of the colours are natural, you could use this palette in your school makeup routine or work makeup rountine. The Shades are pretty sheer, but this is good if you prefer to build your eyeshadow, like I do. I also prefer having sheer colours, because then I don’t run the risk of applying too much. The eyeshadows are easy to blend, which is something I really like about this palette. The only downside, I have found is that, there is a lot of fall out with this product. I don’t think this is a massive problem, as i just wipe it away, with a brush. Overall I think this product is good value for money and a good dupe for the NAKED palettes, if you do not mind a little fall out.  The price is very reasonable and good value for money, if you are on a budget or just looking for a good low priced dupe.

I will have reviews for the other W7 eyeshadow palettes up soon, if you have any review requests, let me know in the comments or tweet me @lifeasshanx  .

Shannon x