Posted in Q&AS, Uncategorized

My First Time!

I love doing tags and this one has been around YEARS but I was stuck for a blog post idea, so a Q and A it is!

FIRST boyfriend 

My first was called Brandon, we dated when I was 14.

Do you still talk to your FIRST love?

No, I don’t. I can honestly say I don’t know where he is or what he is doing right now.

FIRST Kiss 

My first proper kiss was at 14.

FIRST album you bought

I don’t actually remember the first album I bought, but the first album I received was a Mcfly one!

FIRST Crush 

Oh god, the first boy I liked was a boy in primary school who ended up moving away when we was in year 4.

FIRST thing you did this morning 

Check my phone… I know I know, typical me.

FIRST best friend 

I had a friend called Chloe up until year 4 and she left to go to another school and we lost contact. Her and her family just kind of disappeared, I have tried to reconnect but she doesn’t seem to have an online presence.

FIRST word 

I think it was dada or cookie. Of course it would be cookie.

FIRST facebook profile picture 

NO! On a serious note though, it was probably a picture of a dog or something stupid like that.

FIRST CONCERT you went too

JLS ( I wasn’t the biggest fan, however my auntie got me tickets)

FIRST sleepover

Probably with my second best friend, Rachel. We would have sleepovers every weekend.

FIRST job

I worked in a dog grooming shop, my first job wasn’t until last year!

FIRST tv show obsession

Friends. It was the first box set I got, closely followed by Gilmore Girls.

FIRST favourite band

Mcfly!

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted in Q&AS, Uncategorized

Blogger Q&A – 3 year anniversary

I saw this post making its rounds again around the blogging community and thought I would finally do it as this month marks 3 years since I have had this blog. Having this blog has helped me become better at so many things. I enjoy writing and I still enjoy blogging. Blogging has become a massive part of my life. I rely on writing to express my feelings and make me understand what I am feeling a little better. I love interacting with you guys in the comments, on twitter and on Instagram. I appreciate all the support and I am so happy that my posts have helped you out somehow along the way. I have seen myself grow and change through the years by re-reading old posts, seeing where I was compared to where I am now and it has been so rewarding. Thank-you everyone who reads my blog!

The tag includes 8 questions and I am sorry but I do not know who created this tag. If you want to do this tag, I will have a set of unanswered questions at the bottom for you to copy, paste and fill in your self. Send me a link to your blog or answers via the comments or on twitter @lifeasshanx

How long have you been blogging?

3 years this month! I started my blog back in 2014, I don’t actually remember the date of my first published blog post but it was the first few weeks into August 2014.

Do you enjoy doing tags?

Yes, they’re my favourite blog posts to write. I am always looking for new tags I could do on other sites.

Do you follow back every blog that follows you?

I follow back accounts that I enjoy the content of. When someone follows me, I check out their site and see what they write about. If I enjoy their writing style and what they write about I will follow them back.

Describe yourself in 5 words

Stubborn, Passionate, Understanding, Sarcastic & Creative.

How many blog posts have you done?

87, not including this one.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you enjoy blogging?

10!

Who is your favourite blogger?

www.zoella.co.uk    Zoe Sugg is my favourite blogger at the minute.

Do you prefer writing or reading blog posts

Both really, I do enjoy reading blog posts as I love to know other peoples thoughts and compare them to my own. I like to learn new things and I do that through reading but I love to write and always have.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Advice♥, MyStorys, Q&AS, Uncategorized

Let’s Talk About Sex | Peer Pressure

Peer pressure and sex have been a massive problem for many years now. There are a couple different types of peer pressure. See the table below from the NHS site for a little more information.

obvious peer pressure “Everyone’s doing it, so should you.”
underhand peer pressure “You’re a virgin, you wouldn’t understand.”
controlling peer pressure “You would do it if you loved me.”

When it comes to sex, peer pressure can play a big part in someone’s first sexual experience. Peer pressure could come not just from your boyfriend or girlfriend but sometimes your friends as well. When someone is pressuring you into doing something you are not 100% comfortable with, it’s hard, it’s not easy to say how you really feel. You feel like you’re disappointing them or worried that they won’t like you anymore if you do not do what they are ready to do.

One of the most important things I tell people is that you can always say no. If you’re not ready to do something or do not want to, you have the right to say no, you need to remember you are not obliged to do anything. Sex should be something you do, not because they want you to do it, but because you want to do it. If you feel like you want to wait or that you do not want to do it, be clear with the person you are talking about having sex with, let them know how you feel, do not go ahead with having sex with them if you’re not 100% comfortable and happy to do that.

In a world, where it feels like everyone your age is having sex, it can be hard to separate your feelings, your mind is telling you ‘I think you’re ready because everyone else your age is having sex’ but also saying ‘ I don’t think I am ready even know everyone else my age is having sex’. Now, I can you, some of those people who claim to be having sex, are not. They are simply lying because they want people to think they are having sex or maybe they’re been pressured. Some are having sex, I was on those, I lost my virginity while still in high school, but not because everyone else was. Unfortunately, some of those who are currently having sex, don’t feel 100% about doing it.

Sex comes with many adult responsibilities, it is important that you know everything you need to know about sex and all things that come with sex. Knowing you are ready to have sex isn’t just about a feeling or an age(of consent), it’s also about being aware of what sex is. Once you know all you need to know about having sex, you’ll be one step closer to being ready.  Make sure you have someone to talk to about sex, whether that’s a parent, family member, friend, teacher or in an online chat( in a REAL, helpful chatroom/private chatroom, like Kooth or Childline), you can use these legit sites to talk to real professionals about sex, birth control, pregnancies and STD’s with no judgement and they won’t tell your parents ( they legally can’t, unless you’re in physical danger or they think you’re going to hurt someone, which does not apply here as you will only be asking for sex advice). Also, make sure you know about what contraceptives there are out there and where you can get them, make sure you know how to practice safe sex, to prevent pregnancies and STD’s. The last thing I can say here, is make sure you have spoken to your partner about their sexual history( I do not mean prey on who they have slept with, I mean ask them when they last got checked and if you feel like it’s necessary, ask them if they will go and get tested, if they won’t, you can’t make them, but it is your choice whether you decide to sleep with them or not). Remember, every time you have sex, whether you use birth control or not, there is always a chance of STD’s or pregnancy. It is important to practice safe sex and know who you are sleeping with.

Weirdly, not all peer pressure comes from friends at school, it can also come from parents. Parents like to think they know best all the time and I have to tell you, that’s not true, yes most parents know how to bring up their children but sometimes they can take a little too much control of their children’s lives. Most parents don’t like to think about their children having sex( I know my dad would have went mad if he found out I was having sex, when he was here), but it is something that is happening and it is completely normal. Some parents tell their children about sex and give them the best start in life. Unfortunately, some tell their children not to have sex, others avoid the subject, hoping their children won’t have sex because they haven’t spoke to them about sex.

My biggest issue with not telling children about sex is that they are going to have sex whether parents tell them about sex, birth control and std’s but these parents assume that their children won’t have sex because they haven’t spoke to them about it, that’s not true, not talking to teens about sex is wrong, if you don’t give them the right information, they are going to and ask their friends who might give them the wrong information, or even worse, they might not ask anyone and just go have sex without knowledge of std’s or birth control. Telling your child they cannot have sex; isn’t going to change anything, these are the children who are going to sneak out and do it behind your back. Have you ever heard the saying ‘strict parents equal sneaky children’. If you are open to your teens and treat them like adults when it comes to sex, they might treat you like equals when it comes to talking to you about sex. My mum always brought me up to tell her about things going in my life, now I didn’t go and tell her every detail, even she didn’t want to hear every detail but she always taught me to open with her, and she’s never judged me for anything, including having sex. I have told her who I have had sex with and I thought at one point she’d be angry with me but she wasn’t, luckily I have a pretty amazing mum and I’m lucky to have her, as I know not all parents are like her. Trust me I know, I had complete opposite parents, they tried to bring me up 2 different ways and as much I love my dad, and have some his family’s traits, I followed my mums way of life. Moral of the story, your parents aren’t in control of your sex life, so if you are of change of consent ( 16 in the UK, although I am not going to lie, I started having sex before I was 16) and know all about sex and the responsibilities, then it’s up to you when and who(with) you start having sex.

If someone is pressuring you into anything including sex, please remember you can say NO, you have a choice. Remember never to pressure anyone who clearly doesn’t want to do something, into doing what you want them to do, it’s wrong. You also do not have to tell anyone about your sex life, if they ask how many people you have slept with etc, you do not have to answer unless you want to. No one is alone, so do not feel like you are, peer pressure affects a lot of people and in my opinion, a form of bullying, so don’t stand for it!

 

Posted in Advice♥, MyStorys, Q&AS

Let’s Talk About Sex! – Introduction

Hello, it’s been a long time since I last posted on this site and I would just like to quickly say sorry for not posting on here, I have been focusing on my new blog ‘creations and cravings’ which is a food blog, but I am back! I promise to be more active here from now on.

Today, I decided to start a new series on my blog called ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’. As you already know, I am a very open person, I was brought up in a house that was very open about things such as sex. I have previously stated on this site that I have had sex before, but never really went into detail, so over this new series on my blog, I will be answering questions relating to sex. I will be talking about sex, virginity, contraceptives and many other things.  

First things first, I am no expert, I am a teenage girl who has only been having sex for around 2 years. I am certainly no professional. Secondly, everything I talk about is my opinion and based on my own experiences and thirdly, these blog posts are been written for the purpose of educating people about sex and sharing my stories and views on the subject, if you believe you are too young to read these posts or don’t want to read about sex, stop reading now. I have many other posts that are ‘child-friendly’. These posts are for mature teenagers and adults, who want to read about sex and I do not need mean comments about how it is inappropriate for younger readers. I will be posting these posts in no routine, one week you may get 2 blog posts, next week you may only get one. If you have any questions relating to the subject, please feel free to tweet me, DM me or leave a comment below. It will be answered on here, anonymously.

Okay, so for the first installment, I want to talk about sex, I want to talk about how we think and talk about sex. If you feel like talking about sex is wrong, you need to get out of that mindset, sex if normal, I don’t care what part of the world you live in or what kind of household you grow up in, sex is normal, say it, say sex is normal, if you believe it isn’t you are never going to have a fulfilling sex life, it is impossible to enjoy and seek pleasure from something you feel is wrong and bad. For a couple minutes, I want you to forget the teachers at school and parents who told you that sex is wrong, I am telling you it’s a natural human thing.

Now before we move on, it is important to know the difference between ‘natural’ sex and the sex that isn’t. Yes, I did say sex is natural, but there are times when sex is made into a crime. I am talking about non-consensual sex. I am a strong believer that children and teenagers don’t just need to learn about puberty and contraceptives, but they also need to learn about consent, about what is wrong when it comes to sex, so many children fall victim to child abuse and sexual assault, because they are unaware that what is happening to them is wrong, because no-one’s told them what’s happening is not right. Yes, it’s not a nice subject to talk about, but what’s worse if a child or teenager going through abuse, alone and scared, unaware that they have rights when it comes to sex. Maybe, you can prevent teenagers pressuring other teenagers, like their girlfriend/boyfriends to have sex, by telling them at a young age that it is wrong to force someone to do something they are unready to do.

When having sex for the first time, or the 50th or 150th time, it is okay to say NO, it’s okay to say you’re NOT READY and it’s even okay to say ‘I DO NOT WANT TO’. Whether you are a girl or boy, these words are okay to say, I never want anyone to feel like they can’t say these words. I don’t care if you are in the middle of having sex, if you want to stop, say the word, you are not obligated to have sex with anyone. If you’re thinking about having sex, you need to be aware that you can say NO. I also don’t want people confusing peer pressure with being ready if you have friends or a partner that are pressuring you to do anything… let them go. NOW. Pressuring someone to do anything is disgusting and I cannot stand people like this. I have friends who had sex and others who haven’t, but I cannot imagine ever pressuring them to have sex, just because I have. Have sex when you are ready to, not when they are, everyone is different. You’re normal if you want to have sex or are having sex and you’re normal if you aren’t having sex. Remember this, when thinking about having sex.

Back to what I was saying, before I went off on one of my tangents… Talking about sex is a normal, natural thing. Whether you talk about it with your friends, parents, family member, doctor or someone like me, online ( I mean someone who has an advice blog, not same random person on the internet! REMEMBER, be careful on the internet, I will talk about sex and the internet in another post). I feel that talking about sex before having it is important, you may have questions about sex and there are people out there with legitimate, helpful answers. So, in light of this being my first blog post in my new series ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’ I thought I would answer an FAQ about ‘thinking about sex’

  • How painful is sex the first time?

It depends, for me personally, it hurt like hell, it was a horrible first experience, but everyone is different. It depends on lots of different things, firstly, his size matters, if he is bigger than average(like the boy I first had sex with) then it may hurt more. Some girls find that they did not bleed or feel any pain at all, some say there was little blood and it was a little bit painful. To avoid some of the pain, be in a comfortable setting, like your bedroom, use lube or a condom for ease and take it slow and steady.

  • Is sex fun/enjoyable?

Yes, sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, although it may not be a first, it should become enjoyable and fun after a couple of times. Don’t be scared to talk to the person you are having sex with about what you do and do not enjoy, to maximise your enjoyment while having sex, they say communication is key, the same applies when it comes to sex, talk to your partner about the sex, while having sex, let them know what you like and don’t like and vice visa. If sex isn’t fun and enjoyable for you then something needs to change in the bedroom!

  • I want to start using birth control but I don’t want to tell my parents I’m having sex.

Unfortunately, not all parents are like my mum, some do not like the idea that their children are having sex, they think that if they do not talk about sex or contraceptives that their children won’t have sex, but that is a big mistake made by so many parents, not talking about sex doesn’t change your children having sex, they are still going to have sex, they are just going to be less informed and end up catching an STD or getting pregnant. ADULTS TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN/TEENS ABOUT SEX! ( I am talking about UK laws) If you are unsure what your laws for sex, contraceptives etc are in your country, use google to research. In the UK, you can go the doctors alone or with a friend and go on birth control, without your parents ever finding out, as the doctor cannot legally tell anyone about it, unless you are in danger or they believe you are putting someone in danger, by going on birth control, you are not doing either of those things, so you’re okay! There are many forms of birth control given by the doctors, but if you are too worried to go the doctors, buying condoms might be a better option. You can get them free at certain clinics in the UK. Another option is to ask a family member to go with you if you feel you want an adult with you. Aunties, uncles and cousins may be more understanding than your parents.

  • How do I talk to my boyfriend/girlfriend about contraceptives?

Do not have sex until you two have spoken about contraceptives, staying protected when having sex is so important, there are so many STD’s out there and so many unwanted pregnancies, that not talking about this is a stupid mistake. Maybe it’s a little weird to talk face-to-face about it, okay, text them? Ask them if they are using any form of birth control and make sure to ask them before having sex, if they have condoms. It is not just the man’s job to carry condoms, so girls, make sure if you’re sexually active, you have a some on hand.

If you are thinking about going on the pill, I do have a blog post about the pros and cons of birth control, as I said I will have a ‘Let’s talk about sex’ post up soon all about contraceptives, but this one is all about the pill  – https://lifeasshan.wordpress.com/2015/01/07/proscons-being-on-the-pill/

So, before you go out and have sex, remember these few things:

  • Make sure you are ready
  • Make sure you are either on birth control/ have condoms
  • Make sure you are comfortable talking about sex before committing to having it.
  • Know that there is someone you can talk to about sex
  • If you feel like someone if taking advantage of you sexually, tell someone.
  • Ask questions if you have any

 

I will see you soon with another blog post on ‘Let’s talk about sex’. It should be up within the next week, if you have any questions, you can comment below or DM on twitter – LifeAsShanx, just follow me, wait for me to follow you back and send a message :). 

Shannon x

Posted in Q&AS

Christmas Q&A – The Christmas Tag

  • Favorite Christmas Movie?

How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

  • Have you ever had a White Christmas?

No, it has either snowed before Christmas and melted before Christmas day or snowed after Christmas, after I had gone back to school. One Christmas, it did snow for around 10 minutes, but it didn’t stay, so that doesn’t count as a ‘Write Christmas’.

  • Do you start your Christmas shopping on Black Friday or wait until the last minute?

Every year I start shopping at different times of the year for Christmas. This year I started shopping for gifts in early November. Black Friday is something mostly done in America, I do not go to the shops on this day. I finished all my shopping on the 2nd week of December.

  • If you could be in any Christmas movie what would it be?

I would be Cindy-Lo-Who from The Grinch.

  • Name all of Santa’s reindeer.

Erm, oh. I don’t know many at all… Donna, Rudolf, Blitzen, Prancer. I even know how many there are.

  • When does your family put up your Christmas tree and who decorates it?

I have my own tree in my room and I put it up in the middle of November (yes, yes, I know, a little early, but I love Christmas), I decorate my own tree. The main tree was put up in the middle of December and my mum put that tree up.

  • Is your Christmas tree real or fake?

Unfortunately, I am allergic to real Christmas Tree, so I have to have a fake one.

  • Peeking at gifts or be surprised?

As much as I want to know what I have gotten each year, I resist my urges to look because I love the surprises on Christmas day.

  • Does your family have a special holiday recipe you like to help make?

No, my family aren’t big on cooking or baking, however, I am. I like to make gingerbread people and Mince Pies at this time of year.

  • Are you a pro-present wrapper, or do you fail miserably?

I would like to think I am a pro-present wrapper, I am definitely not a fail at wrapping. I spend hours carefully wrapping presents and add ribbon, bows and tags.

  • Have you ever gone Christmas caroling?

No, no. I hardly have the confidence to go up to someone’s house and knock on their door, let alone sing for them. I have never gone caroling and have never had carolers at my house, I guess no one does that around where I live?

  • What tops your tree?

My mum tops her tree with an Angel. However, I top mine with a silver star.

  • Do you make New Year’s Resolutions? Do you stick to them?

I make about 3-4 each year but find it really hard to keep to them and end up forgetting all about them by the end of January.

  • You have been granted one Christmas wish…what will it be?

To stop all abuse of all kinds.

  • Do you open your presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

I open my presents on Christmas Morning!

  • Favourite festive food?

Turkey and Gingerbread.

  •  Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions?

Every year on Christmas eve, me and my brothers get to open a present and get new PJ’s. Now that my mum goes to a family members for a couple hours that evening, I usually get a bubble bath, put on my PJ’s, order a takeaway and watch Christmas movies in bed, I open my present before I go to bed.

  • As a kid what was the one (crazy, wild, extravagant) gift you always asked for but never received?

I can’t think of a present I asked for that I never got, not in a I got everything I wanted way, but I never asked for something so crazy or wild, that I could not get.

Posted in Q&AS

Get To Know Me Q&A

What was your favourite food when you were a child?


Chicken Nuggets. Not at all healthy but I LOVED  them!


 

What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod?

Probably a song of the Fault in our stars album or the Endless love movie album! I love the song peaches.


 

What is one of your favourite quotes?

I have a few, but my favourite? well I like the quote ‘ some infinites are bigger then others’ I think its so accurate and true.


What’s your favourite indoor/outdoor activity?

I love cooking, I’m actually studying it in college come September and I’m very excited! outdoor? probably going the beach if that counts ha-ha!


What chore do you absolutely hate doing?

Being honest.. Most of them, but I hate hovering.. I’m not sure why but its the worst chore for me.


 

What is your favourite form of exercise?

Swimming OR yoga :).


 

What is your favourite time of the year?

For me its winter.. I swear I could be a penguin I love the cold. I love the whole feel of winter the most. It feels almost magical.


 

What’s your least favourite mode of transportation?

TRAINS AND BUSES I HATE THEM!!


 

What is your favourite body part?

This is a hard question because iv never looked at myself and seen much I like but I suppose I don’t mind my hair? if that counts as a body part haha erm.


 

What sound do you love?

RAIN. There is nothing better then being snuggled in bed listening to the rain on your window. Weirdly I also love the sound of thunder.


If you could throw any kind of party, what would it be like and what would it be for?

I LOVE PARTYS, so probably wouldn’t be for any special event at all.


 

If you could paint a picture of any scenery you’ve seen before, what would you paint?

I haven’t travelled a lot but probably a place in Oban (Scotland) called east dale island, there is some beautiful views on that island and it would bring back some amazing memories 🙂


 

If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?

I don’t know, from a young age you want to grow up because your never able to do anything and I doubt id ever like to stay a teen forever, but if I had a choice probably somewhere in my mid 20s early 30s maybe?


 

If you knew the world was ending in 2015, what would you do differently?

I don’t know. id make sure id told everyone how much they mean to me and that I loved them, maybe a couple other things…


If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be?

This is a hard Question but some part of me thinks it would be amazing just to witness the world evolving, it would be pretty cool!


 

If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?

learn how to sing or play an instrument like guitar or piano, I suck at these things haha.


If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?

I Like the name Isabella, but I’m kind of saving that one for my first baby girl, if I’m lucky enough to have children.. I love the name.


 

If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet?

HARRY STYLES or Marilyn Monroe.


 

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?

Pay off my parents debts so they could move out of the house they live in and probably buy some things for myself, maybe put a payment down for a nice car or home for the future and probably save a lot for my future as well. Depending on how much I won of course!


 

If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavour, what would it be?

animal? a penguin or owl, but a kangaroo would be fun too..


 

If you could know the answer to any question, besides “What is the meaning of life?”, what would it be?

I don’t know the meaning of life and I guess you just have to live your life before you can truly say what was the meaning of yours because everyone’s meaning to life will be different.


Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best?

Not that I can recall, but there are probably a few.


 

What was one of the best parties you’ve ever been to?

I cant remember what the party was for but it was earlier this year..


 

What was the last movie, TV show or book that made you cry or tear up?

The fault in our stars, both the book and movie got my balling like a baby. Iv got goose bumps watching revenge and I teared up on the last episode of friends!


 

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

iv made decisions that were hard to make but some took a very mature mind to make. Those were the hardest decisions and things iv had to do.


 

What was the last experience that made you a stronger person?

Losing my dad at 15 probably was the last experience that made a stronger person. I had to grow up now, even more then I had to already.


 

What did you do growing up that got you into trouble?

probably having an attitude.. parents don’t like that haha!


What do you miss most about being a kid?

innocence, Not having to worry about anything in the real world, being carefree.


 

What is your first memory of being really excited?

Really really excited? probably when I got one direction tickets a few years ago.. yep I was way to excited haha.


 

When was the last time you were nervous?

Having anxiety, I get nervous a lot more I was very nervous last week when having to travel a long distance.


 

What is something you learned in the last week?

A lot of things.


 

What story does your family always tell about you?

There’s always that few that family tell other people about you.. that you hate them for. Like the time you got stuck in a BOG.. yes I got stuck in a BOG when I was like 7 while camping. It was not a good day.


 

At what age did you become an adult?

I’m not a legal adult yet but I had to mature and grow up around the age of 14 and make adult decisions, so I suppose around then I started to become one.


Are you a night or morning person?

Night owl! I hate mornings.


turns offs? turns on’s?

Turns off is definitely judgemental and vainness. HATE THAT.

Turn on is definitely sense of humour


 

Do you believe in God?

No, I’m an atheist.