What to know about the Contraceptive Implant Nexplanon

In the UK you can get a long lasting, reliable type of birth control called Nexplanon. Nexplanon is a reversible contraceptive in the form of a small, flexible rod that is inserted into your arm by a trained sexual health nurse. You can get this small procedure done at some doctors, but it is mainly performed at sexual health clinics/hubs.

How do you know that this is the best form of contraceptive for you? Well my advice is do as much research as possible, and I hope this blog post answers some of your questions about the implant.

Nexplanon is more commonly known as ‘the implant’ as it is implanted into your arm and offers 99% protection from pregnancy. Nexplanon contains the hormone progestogen, a small amount is released into your body each day, which prevents the release of eggs from the ovaries. In short, if you have no eggs to fertilise, you cannot become pregnant.

Nexplanon is probably one of the most reliable contraceptive forms I have ever used. The implant lasts for three years before needing to be removed and replaced, and this is done at a sexual health clinic, at you discretion for free on the NHS (Yet another reason we should cherish our NHS, allowing women to have free access to contractive is important!)

I find that the implant is much more reliable for me because I do not have to remember to take a pill everyday. If you’re like me and forget to take your pill at the same time everyday and end up having a massive panic when you miss your period, the implant might be for you.

Like I said, the reason I ultimately went for the implant was for two main reasons. It lasts for three years, so I wouldn’t need to keep going to the doctor to get a refill on my pills, and I wouldn’t need to remember to take a pill everyday at the same time. But, some people may choose to use the implant for other reasons such as not being able to or not wanting to use oestrogen, which the combined pill contains. One of the main reasons that Nexplanon is so reliable is because you don’t need to remember to take a pill everyday.

Provided that you are at an appropriate time in your menstrual cycle, Nexplanon will starting working straight away, but I would always suggest wearing condoms if having sex 7 days afterwards just to make sure you are fully protected from pregnancy.

Of course, with any form of contraceptive, you may experience some side effects. Some common, but minor side effects include mood swings, weight gain, and an infection around the insertion site. I personally didn’t have any of these side effects, all I suffered with was a bruise at the insertion side and some mild discomfort in that arm for a few days.

Another reason I was drawn to the implant was the reduced amount of periods most people experience. When I am not on birth control, I suffer terribly with period pain, the kind of pain that stops me from doing anything. I have to take long hot baths and keep a hot compress on my stomach at all times. The idea of limited periods sounded like paradise for me, and thankfully I haven’t had a period in months, which means I haven’t suffered in agony with period pains. Some people have stated that their periods don’t go away, or only get lighter, but what happens to your period completely depends on your body. If you’re trying to find a solution for heavy periods and chronic period pains and you’ve tried over avenues, this may be worth a try to see if it eases that pain for you.

If you have decided that you do want to go with Nexplanon as your form of contraceptive, you can contact your local sexual health clinic, and ask for an appointment to get the implant inserted. Most sexual health clinics are open till late evening so you can go after school, college or work.

If you’re not sure where your local sexual health clinic is, click on the link below, which will direct you to an NHS information portal, put in your postcode and your local clinics will pop up, with the services they offer, opening times, and contact information.

https://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Sexual-health-information-and-support/LocationSearch/734

When you book your appointment, they will let you know that children are not allowed in the procedure room with you. When you get to your appointment, a nurse will talk you through the procedure, and ask about your period, sex life and general health. They will likely take your blood pressure, height and weight before doing the procedure. You will then be asked to lay on the bed, while she inserts the needle into your arm, this is the anaesthetic, the needle going in may feel slightly uncomfortable but once the anaesthetic starts to work, you won’t feel a thing. You will be a awake during the procedure, but the nurse will not place the rod into your arm until the anaesthetic has started to work and the site is numb. The nurse will then make a tiny incision in the top on your arm and place the rod inside, you won’t be able to feel this happening. After she is finished, she will ask you to feel the implant for yourself, before covering it with a dressing and some tape. That’s it, you get to go home. You’ll only be in the room for about 20 minutes. They’ll ask you to keep the bandage on for 24 hours, and to not get it wet, but after that you can take the bandage off and go back to normal. You may get a bruise around the area, but it will go away after a week or so.

Some quick facts about Nexplanon –

• It lasts for 3 years
• It is one of the most effective contraceptive you can get, its 99% effective in-fact
• You are still at risk of STD’S. The only contraceptive that also protects against STDS are condoms
• If you live in the UK, you can get the implant free of charge
• You may not get a period for several months, so I advise taking a pregnancy test every month if you’re sexually active, since no form of contraceptive is 100% effective.
• The implant is a white, flexible rod that can be felt under the skin, but you cannot see it.
• You can visit a sexual health clinic free of charge, without a parent and have 100% confidentiality.
• You can have the implant removed at any point before the three year mark, just book an appointment with the clinic and they’ll remove the rod for you.
• It is unlikely that it will leave a scar, since the incision mark is small and not deep.
• Nexplanon may affect your mood, keep a diary to log your mood each day
• Nexplanon is still effective even if are sick or have diarrhoea since it is not taken orally.

I hope this blog post helps you learn something about Nexplanon and if you would like more sexual health related blog posts, let me know!

 

Shannon

 

How To Reduce Your Plastic Waste

Plastic became extremely popular in the 1960’s and it is no surprise that it is still used in everyday life. Plastic is cheap, easily shaped, and strong, and these are all things that kept plastic popular all these years. But, plastic is becoming an increasing issue, since the 1950’s 8.3 billion metric tonnes of plastic has been produced around the world and 79% of the plastic that was produced in the last 70 years has been thrown away, either into landfill sites or into the environment.

So, what exactly is plastic doing to our environment? It is estimated that it would take 50 years for a foam plastic cup to decompose, and 450 years for a disposable nappy. So, every time we buy, use and throw away plastic it is taking that plastic decades, even centuries to decompose. A massive percentage of this plastic doesn’t get recycled, or even sent to landfills, it ends up in places like the ocean.

Marine litter harms more than 600 species. A 2013 study suggests that as many as 50% of the sea turtles in the ocean are ingesting plastic at an increasingly fast rate, and they’re dying from it. It is thought that the turtles think that plastic bags are jellyfish and eat them, after consuming, the plastic bag obstructs the turtles airways. Fish are also victims of plastic pollution as they bring water through their gills, they are increasingly at risk to microscopic plastic debris. Not just animals that live in the ocean are at risk, seabirds are dying in their millions each year. When seabirds like the albatross dives into the ocean to catch fish, they use their beak to skin the surface of the water and they end up picking up plastic along the way. A study of albatross showed that 98% of them has ingested some sort of plastic in its lifetime. That’s shocking! Some researchers suggest that by 2050 there could be more plastic than fish in the ocean by weight.

But, marine animals aren’t the only ones suffering, studies show that people are also at risk. Since we eat the animals that live in the ocean, the microscopic plastic that those fish eat is being consumed by us through the fish and sea animals that we eat. We are also at risk of  chemicals that are in the plastic storage containers that we eat our food out of. Bisphenol A (BPA) is a chemical used during the manufacturing of certain hard, clear plastics. This chemical mimics the hormone estrogen and can disrupt reproductive functions.

The easiest and most effective way of preventing plastic consumption increasing is to stop using it where ever possible. We use plastic everyday and sometimes we don’t even realize how much of it we are going using. By reducing your plastic consumption you could help cut down on greenhouse gas emissions, reduce the amount of pollution in the air and water, and save marine species and wildlife.

There are many ways you can get involved and help reduce plastic waste. Below I have listed 10 different ways I personally do to reduce the amount of plastic waste I produce.

• Avoid cosmetics products that contain mircobeads – these do not dissolve and could end up being swallowed by marine animals. The UK has banned microplastics in ‘rinse-off’ cosmetics like facial scrubs. If you want to find out what products contain microbeads you can find out all you need to know on the ‘BEAT THE MICROBEAD’ website –  https://www.beatthemicrobead.org/product-lists/
• Use reusable water bottles and hot drink cups. By taking a reusable coffee cup with you during the day you are avoiding the pile up of disposable coffee cups, the same applies for water bottles. A lot of chain coffee shops like Costa Coffee and Starbucks offer a scheme in which you can get money off drinks if you use a reusable cup when getting drinks in their shops. I don’t know who wouldn’t do this considering you’d be helping save the environment and save money at the same time.
• Say NO to plastic straws. You can go straw-less or opt for a reusable straw, you can get metal straws online and in a lot of stores, some on amazon even come with a little straw cleaner that fits perfectly into each straw to ensure its clean for the next use.
• Use reusable containers that DON’T contain BPA chemicals. Glass containers are a much better long term solution for packed lunches than cling film or throw away plastic containers.
• Say NO to plastic cutlery, plates and party cups. Most single use plastics don’t end up being recycled and end up in the ocean.
• Don’t put your fruit and vegetables in those little plastic bags at the supermarket. Those bananas don’t need to go in a plastic bag, just place them in your trolley because we all know as soon as we get home we take the fruit or vegetables out of the plastic bags and those bags end up straight in the bin. It’s not needed.
• Take your own bags when you go shopping. I do not understand why so many people were upset when the UK introduced a price tag on all plastic bags at shops. Since the bag tax was introduced the purchasing of single use bags dropped by 83%. Buy reusable bags and keep them near the door in your house or in your boot so you have them on hand whenever you’re about to head to the shops. Plastic bags effect our environment in massive ways, they get into the soil and release toxic chemicals, and kill wildlife on a daily basis.
• Avoid unnecessary plastic packaging. Buy the bananas that aren’t wrapped in plastic and buy a whole pineapple instead of chunked pineapple, you’ll use far less plastic by not buying everything in plastic.
• Choose cardboard over plastic were ever possible. If you spot an item in cardboard, opt for that item instead of the one wrapped in plastic. Cardboard breaks down far easier than plastic and can be recycled a lot easier as well.
• Use matches. I light candles in the flat sometimes and I always used a plastic lighter until I realized that those lighters just end up in a landfill for decades. Opt for a match instead!

Of course I am human and I respect that it is hard to go completely plastic free but by minimizing the amount we buy, use and throw away on a daily basis we can take one step forward in helping the marine life and our environment get back on track. The truth is my life isn’t plastic free, but I do everything I can to reduce my plastic waste.

 

 

Shannon x

Should we boycott palm oil?

At the beginning of last month there was a bit of talk in the UK about a Christmas advert that had been banned from airing on TV due to it being to ‘political’ (which I think is bullshit but here we are). The advert can be found online quite easily and features a carton orangutan and a little girl, the little girl kept asking the orangutan why he wouldn’t go home to which to the orangutan told the little girl that he couldn’t due to deforestation that made him leave his home and the reason for the deforestation was directly related to the production of palm oil. It was a cute but sad advert about the reality of what is actually happening to these already threatened animals and how we can prevent these animals from losing their homes.

The advert left me with a few questions, questions like ‘what exactly is palm oil and how is it causing deforestation?’ So I did some research and over the last few weeks I have tried to implement change after what I have learned.

So, what is palm oil?

Palm oil is a type of vegetable oil that comes from the fruit of oil palm trees, and there are two different ways in which the oil can be produced; crude palm oils, which comes from squeezing the fruit, and the other is palm kernel oil, which comes from crushing the kernel, or stone from the middle of the fruit.

There are over 40 countries that produce palm oil!

How is palm oil causing deforestation?

Palm oil is produced by extracting the oil one form or the other from the fruits of the palm oil tree. These trees grow in countries like Indonesia and Malaysia and are planted in recently cleared forest areas that where cut down by palm oil production companies, for the sole purpose of making space to plant the palm oil trees to eventually produce palm oil. The deforestation of the forests were already vulnerable animals live is causing these animals to become even more vulnerable, and it has even killed many of these animals that are already in shockingly low numbers. Orangutans, elephants and even rhinos are in even more danger every time another part of their home is cleared for the plantation of palm oil trees.

After doing little research on the subject, I decided it would be best to swear of palm oil all together and I started checking the ingredients to all the products in my cupboards. I thought ‘I’m not going to support companies that use palm oil because they’re supporting  deforestation and pollution’ but after doing some research I found out it wasn’t as simple as that. Turns out there is two different types of palm oil; sustainable oil and unsustainable oil.

It turns out that sustainable palm oil is better for the environment then unsustainable palm oil. Sustainable oil complies with global standards and palm oil that is labelled sustainable have supposedly been produced without the vast clearance of forests. Whereas unsustainable palm oil is produced without a thought about the environment or what animals happen to live in the habitats that are being cut down to plant the trees.

The big question I had after reading all these articles was ‘wouldn’t it just be better for the environment and these animals if we just stopped using palm oil, sustainable or not?’ Turns out I was wrong here as well, after doing more research on why we don’t just use alternative oils like coconut oil I found quite a few articles including one the WWF site that sheds some unsettling light on production of different oils. It turns out that it actually takes less land to produce more palm oil then it would to produce alternatives like coconut or rapeseed oil in space of palm oil. This image below shows how many tonnes of oil can be produced per tree and as you can see companies can produce way more palm oil from a smaller amount of crops then they can any other oils.

Any oil production will require the clearance of land first, but it seems that you can produce more palm oil with less space. If we decided to avoid palm oil all together than companies would be forced to find an alternative oil, which at first I thought ‘great! Less deforestation’ but it would actually end up being quite the opposite and we would just end up with another issue, because to produce alternatives like coconut oil four to ten times more land would be needed, and this of course would result in even more deforestation and habitats lost.

Does this mean I suddenly support palm oil? No. But, it does mean I won’t be boycotting palm oil all together. Instead I will be more aware of which kind of palm oil is in the products I plan to buy and use. I will be looking for products that only use sustainable oil and hopefully other people will also choose to do the same thing. By doing this we will encourage companies that are producing unsustainable palm oil to begin selling sustainable palm oil instead – which will work out better for everyone!

You can help save the forests by simply following this link to the WWF official website and joining the fight to save the forests!

https://www.wwf.org.uk/save-forests#edit-container

If you’d like more information on palm oil the ‘act for wildlife led by Chester Zoo’ have their own section on palm oil that is very insight full and packed with lots of great information

https://www.actforwildlife.org.uk/get-involved/take-conservation-action/take-the-sustainable-palm-oil-challenge/

 

 

I hope everyone is having a lovely start to the new year. My new years resolution’s was to write more about the things I find important, so I’ll see you soon with another post!

Shannon x

 

Simple Chocolate Truffles

These truffles are quick to make, and the recipe is both easy and fool proof. I’m not going to give some long story before presenting my recipe so I’m going to leave it at this; they’re silly smooth inside and crunchy on the outside. They’re the perfect mix of sweet and salty. One warning I just give you is that they are incredibly moreish.

Ingredients;

300g milk chocolate

150g double cream 

1 teaspoon butter 

Pinch of salt

150g salted peanuts (or any nuts of your choice)

                                                                        Method 

1. Measure out the double cream and heat it the microwave or in a pan until the cream begins to boil.

2. While waiting for the cream to heat up, break the chocolate into pieces.

3. Once the cream is hot,add the chocolate and butter to the cream and leave a few minutes to melt the chocolate. After a few minutes mix the chocolate into the cream with a whisk. It may not look like it’s going to come together at first, but continue to whisk until you achieve a smooth silky texture.

4. Cover the bowl with cling film and put in the freezer for at least one hour.

5. Use a food processor to blend the nuts up, but don’t blend them to fine.

6. Take the chocolate ganache out the freezer and scoop up a section and roll into a ball ( work quickly as they will start to melt in your hands). Roll each truffles in the nuts and place on a plate.
These are amazing as Christmas presents or as a quick,easy to make treat or party snack. You can store them in the fridge for 3 days or in the freezer for up to a month.  I’m personally giving there as gifts this Christmas but I did save myself some and just take a few out the freezer when I feel like a chocolate treat!

Happy holidays! Shannon x

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Why you should never live in a basement flat

At the beginning of this year I decided to move out of my family home that I had lived in with my mum my whole life, with that decision came the apartment search. Me and my partner set our budget – £450. We narrowed down our property search by making sure the apartment was within one mile of a train station, close to shops and in a safe area that we both liked. So, finding a property that ticked all our boxes and was within our budget was extremely hard for us to do. By May we was both ready and rearing to move out and start our future, so it was becoming very frustrating that we was not able to find a place we both wanted to move into.

At the beginning of May we found a place that we thought was the perfect place – it was not. It was within our budget, close to shops and a train station, so we went to go and see the property. The property its self seemed perfect for us, it was a one bedroom basement flat with modern fixtures throughout. We filed out our application forms and we paid our application fees, along with our deposit. The first few months felt like bliss, it was a good price and we was happy in our first place together, that bliss however didn’t last long.

I have made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime and I am not naïve to think I won’t make anymore but one mistake I regret is not doing enough research on the letting agency and on living in a basement flat. It was a mistake none the less and its the whole reason I am making this blog post, so I hope this post helps you make a decision on whether a basement flat is for you or not.

There isn’t much light 

We rented the basement flat in a complex of flats during the very summery months of this year so we did have some light, but considering how sunny it was during June, July and August this year you’d expect your home to light up with bright natural light – it didn’t. There was three windows in the whole flat; one in the bedroom, one in the living area and one in the bathroom. The window in the bathroom didn’t even lead out anywhere and was dark all the time, it was simply to air out bathroom (some good that did). I would often have the blinds wide open and even that didn’t allow sun in. What little sun that did beam down on the flat during the day was sparse. The kitchen in our basement flat didn’t have a window so couldn’t even air out the kitchen after cooking something that had a strong smell. I do not know if the no window in the kitchen is a normal thing with basement flats or whether it was just the layout of our partiture basement flat. Having no light during the summer was pretty depressing, so I cannot imagine what it will be like during the winter months when the sun isn’t around for as long each day. I needed light more than I thought I did and although this didn’t bother me at first, it began to really get to me at the end of our tenancy. If you need a place to rest your head and you’re not in your flat for anything else but sleeping and eating I guess this kind of flat wouldn’t be that big of a deal. But, when you want to actually live in your new place, the lack of light will definitely affect you. However, if you’re a vampire this is the perfect place for you!

No signal 

I mean this one is pretty self explanatory really, but it was something we overlooked and didn’t think of as a massive issue. I didn’t notice until move in day that we getting signal on your phone was the most annoying ordeal. My phone seemed to get a bar or two when placed near the window but my mobile wasn’t a house phone, I couldn’t leave it there all the time. My partner had even less luck and had to actually go outside and up to pavement level to get signal. It’s kind of a pain when you’re waiting for an important call or text. Luckily most of my interactions with friends and family were through apps that relied on internet and not a mobile network to work so I was able to deal with the whole ‘having no signal’ thing. It is something to consider though, if you take a lot of calls or text a lot, there is a chance you’ll be walking around looking for somewhere there is some signal, and don’t count on that being a smooth connection either. If you’re job is call based and you work from home I would not even consider a basement flat AT ALL.

Rubbish outside all the time 

Being in the basement means you’re below everyone else and something we know about our society is that some of them aren’t the cleanest and don’t seem to care that there are bins for a reason. So, when people drop crisp packets and cans on the floor, you can bet they’ll find their way to any outside areas near your basement flat. Wind blows rubbish around, leading it to blow right into the basement area of any home, and although it blows in pretty easily, it’s not likely it will blow back out. This results in bundles of rubbish in your walk area or outside your windows as those areas are great places for rubbish to collect. When we moved in the letting agency didn’t even bother to clean these areas up (this should have been our first warning sign regarding them), so the result was at least a few months of rubbish and smelly damp leaves piled high near our door and windows. So, I spent some money and time and I cleaned everything in those areas and it looked good for the first time since we moved in, and for a few days it remained that way. But, as predicted a week later the rubbish was making its way back in (it was near impossible to get out the small windows to clean the rubbish outside the windows so this was a task to do once, let alone once a week). Unless you have a super great landlord who will get someone out every two weeks to clean all the rubbish up, you’ll either be cleaning it constantly yourself or you’ll be looking at a heap of rubbish every time you look out the window.

Low Ceilings 

Although this wasn’t much of an issue for me as I am just hitting 5 foot, it was an issue for my partner who nearly didn’t fit in at all. He is around 5 foot 10 inches and I would say if you’re any taller then 6 foot, you’re going to be rubbing up against the ceiling or even slouching all the time, which is not good for you posture! As well as your height being an issue you also have to be careful with the height of furniture. Overlooking the height of your wardrobe can be easily done because you’d assume it will fit in because it fits in your current home. But you could end up having to threw things away or sending furniture back if you don’t measure them carefully when moving into a basement flat. We had to be super careful when getting a wardrobe and bathroom cabinet as some where simply too tall to fit in the flat. If you are moving into a basement flat or considering it, take a tape measure and make sure all your belongings aren’t too tall for the low ceilings.

Bugs, slugs and smells 

During the summer months we found ourselves swarmed with fruit flies, we set so many traps but they just seemed to reappear when we thought we was done with them. The windows being limited probably didn’t help the fruit fly situation. I imagine fruit flies are more of a summer issue but during those few wet and cold evenings we also had an issue with slugs. They seemed to get through the door some how and would leave slime trails all over the carpet and I would have to go around and see if any where still around, and sometimes they’d still be in the flat. Bugs and slugs where a disgusting and annoying part of our short tenancy at this flat but another massive issue with basement flats that probably increases the amount of bugs was the smell. I tried to keep the flat fresh and clean everyday but with limited windows it was near impossible to air out the flat properly, leaving a odour I could never fully get rid of. Another issue with nasty smells was the pipes. I found that our pipes would sometimes smell really bad in the bathroom and I was never sure why, all I could do was pour bleach down the drains and hope the smell goes away.

Mould & Dampness 

Here lays the last straw on the camels back. Mould. All those things above where manageable because we moved the location and the cheap rent, but cheap rent and location will never be enough for me to live with mould everyday. This is one thing I wish I had some research on as it didn’t even occur to me that I could be dealing with such levels of mould. Living at home I dealt with the occasional patch of mould near the windows because of dampness but it wasn’t near the level I witnessed while living in this basement flat. When we moved in it was clear the walls had been painted and the carpet was new but they advertised the property as ‘newly converted’ so I didn’t think too much of it. I certainty didn’t think that the walls had been repainted and carpets replaced because of mould. The first few months where fine like I said earlier, no issues arose and we was happy there. Windows were open most of the time – the three the flat offered, so the place was aired out on a daily basis, but it clearly wasn’t enough. About 3 months in I noticed a very nasty smell and couldn’t pin point where it was, I thought it was the drains smelling again, but it didn’t go away and it lead me to pull out all our furniture and find the horror that hid behind our belongings. Once I pulled out a few items I realised what the issue was – mould. Thick dark green mould was growing all over my belongings. I felt sick, I felt angry, and I felt disgusted. I immediately got some bleach water and scrubbed all my furniture but it was too late for some of my belongings. Others I managed to save and haven’t had any issues* since we moved out of that flat. A few weeks before I noticed the mould my mood had changed drastically, spending most of my time in the flat right next to the flat has clearly had an effort on my mood and on my health. I felt down and depressed – more so as I have severe depression already and I was struggling to breath, which was making my anxiety 10x worse. The mould was the last straw, we found a new place in the coming weeks and we moved out, leaving our tenancy early (we agreed to pay rent up till the end of our tenancy as agreed upon on our tenancy agreement). After doing my research I found out that mould is common in basement flats as there is limited air flowing through the property and there is generally dampness within the basement beforehand anyway.

 

My opinion on basement flats is a dark one and I would never willingly live in one again. I would advise people to look elsewhere as the cheaper rent is not worth the hassle and your health being at risk. If you have no choice but to live in a basement flat I would advise you to do as much research as possible beforehand. Try and find ways to air out the property and find ways to deal with dampness and mould. It may be extra work but for some I understand that a basement flat may be all you can afford at the time. I would suggest that a basement flat is good for a temporary home – while you save up for a better place or get back on your feet or for someone who isn’t around a lot and just needs a place to sleep and eat.

I have learned a lot from renting a basement flat, and I do have some happy memories there (turning 20, getting Ramsay and it being our first place together). But, I am glad I am not there anymore.

Shannon x

How to stay on budget this Christmas

I think most people would agree that Christmas time is probably one of the most stressful times of the year, when in reality it should be one of the best times of year. So, why isn’t it? I suppose there are a whole range of answers to that question but the one I think most people would say that the stress is mainly caused by the amount of money that is spent at this time of year.

If you’re wondering why I am posting this in October there is a simple reason; people have already started to plan and shop for the upcoming festive event! Over the last few weeks I have not only seen shops start to stock presents, decorations and chocolate that are all dedicated to the holiday, I have also seen people fill their trollies with the Christmas goodies like advent calendars, Christmas scented candles and all the Christmas chocolate one can find. And to add to that, I cannot deny that I have also bought a few of those candles recently! I am trying my best to resist the urge to fill my trolly with everything Christmas related but I am going to try and see Halloween through first!

The reason I wanted to make this blog post was because for the first time I have to set a strict budget this Christmas now I have moved out, and it came to my attention after some research that many other people feel the same scary worry that Christmas expenses face me this year. Research shows that the UK as a whole spends billions at Christmas time every year with families spending at least £500 more in December than any other month in the year. Some people say they spend most on their children, teenagers and spouses and with 46% of people spending between £200 – £300 on everything else but food like food, drinks, decorations, parties and clothes you can see how Christmas is a billion pound industry. Why are we spending so much on Christmas? Well of course that depends on the person you ask but people have sited a whole range of things for the reason they spend so much at this time of year including wanting to please the children, being pressured by family and friends (parties and presents etc), and the idea that Christmas should be like it is in the movies that we see in movies and on TV.

The question that I have asked myself and I’m sure many others have asked themselves is ‘ How can I have an amazing Christmas but stay on budget?!’ I pondered the question for a while, worrying that I either wouldn’t have enough money to have the magical Christmas I wanted with my family or I would have to go over my budget to achieve that magical Christmas. After doing some research and taking what I already know about saving money and budgeting, I sat down and made a plan and I think maybe those ideas I had to help me stay on budget but still have an amazing Christmas may be able to help others who are worried about the Christmas season that is fast approaching.

Before you even begin to bring your budget together you need to work out how many days your holiday lasts. What I mean by this is you need to work out whether you only celebrate the 12 days leading up to Christmas, or whether the whole month is full of festive events which can include: going to the grotto, family parties, work nights out, going to your towns annual Christmas light switch on etc. These things often get over looked when setting your budget because people only think of presents, food and decorations when thinking of how much they have to spend, but all the extras cost money as well. That is not to say you shouldn’t do these things, as in my opinion these festive events are what make the Christmas time so special, but just make sure you consider them when setting your budget. Once you have decided whether your budget needs to cover the whole month or just the days leading up to Christmas you can sit down and begin to set your budget. I personally class the whole month as Christmas (1st Dec-1st Jan) and set my budget to cover the whole month.

My advice for setting your budget is to sit down with a notepad, your calendar/dairy for December and access to the internet (for quick price searches for an estimated prices). Now, you need to write a brief list of everything that is going to cost you money, don’t worry about the prices right now, just jot down the things that may cost something. You don’t need to go into great detail here, just write your child’s name, not every present they want. I normally section my budget into categories, making sure to leave enough space to pencil in a price limit for each item later.

Big or small, write it down. Think about everything in December that could possibly cost you. When budgeting people often miscalculate how much will be spent in this month because they do not take into account all of the other expenses that this festive time brings. Think about the parties and how much you’ll need to spend on outfits, gifts and drinks while there. Think about the events leading up to Christmas that require money; Christmas tree lighting, Christmas festivals and going out for meals and cosy cafe trips for hot chocolate. All these things add up without you even thinking about it, but if you budget with these expenses in mind, you’ll have a better chance of staying on budget this Christmas.

One of the best ways to stay on budget is one of the most simple concepts out there – stick to the list! I know, I know, its easier said than done. It’s something we all think will keep us on budget but most of the time we end up adding more to the trolly then what is on the list. Or even if we do keep to what is on the list, we end up spending over our budget because items end up costing more than we think. My advice to try and combat this is not by just writing a list but jotting down the most you are willing to spend on something, if the item ends up being more, skip it or try and find a cheaper alternative.

The last piece of advice I have is not directly related to budgeting but will help you with keeping the lost low this year. Going to 20 different shops in two weeks can be stressful. So websites like Amazon are amazing for keeping it simple. However, they aren’t always the most cost effective place to shop for all of your Christmas needs. Browse your local shops in advance to find the best deals and write them down. You could buy it now and save it for Christmas or come back closer to the date. If you normally shop at places that may be a little more expensive, try discount stores to see if you can snag any deals. Shops like Home Bargains and B&M are good for decorations and additional food items like sauces and tinned vegetables. Shops like TK MAX are great for getting a deal on name brand items like makeup and clothes, in fact they even do amazing deals on home ware items. Shopping at stores that offer a lot of deals could save you at least a hundred pound which could really benefit your budget, and of course your bank account.

Christmas can be a magical and exciting time, not just for the children but for you as well. A little planning and budgeting can help you relax and can take a lot of the worry away, so you can wake up on Christmas day and feel excited just like the kids. I have to admit that this time of year can cause a lot of stress, but since getting the hang on how and where I spend my money, I have been able to enjoy the holidays much more.

 

 

 

Bringing back the death penalty?!

The question ‘Do you believe in the death penalty?’ is one that leaves people divided across the globe. For that reason, I will be talking about my opinion on the death penalty while respecting other peoples opinions on the subject.

The last execution in the UK was actually in my hometown, Liverpool. Peter Anthony Allen was executed on the in August 1964 at Walton Prison. His partner was also executed this day a little up north at Strangeways Prison in Manchester. They were sentenced to the death penalty for the murder of John Alan West earlier that year in April. Capital punishment was abolished 15 months after these last two executions in 1965.

Although by the 1900’s the death penalty was given to criminals that committed a serious felony, that wasn’t always the way. Between the years 1770 and 1830 an estimated 35,000 death sentences were handed down in England and Wales, 7,000 of which were carried out. Back in those times you could get the death sentence for small crimes that wouldn’t be considered felonies these day. Shoplifting and stealing cattle are just two crimes that would get you the death sentence back in 1770. The death penalty was however abolished for theft in 1832. Samuel Romily was quoted to say ‘English law was notorious for prescribing the death penalty for a vast range of offenses as slight as the theft of goods valued at 12 pence’ In 1808 Romily removed the death penalty for pickpockets and lesser offences, starting a process of reform that continued over the next 50 years. The death penalty was mandatory but was often commuted by the government, until the Judgement of Death Act 1823 gave judges the powder to commute the death penalty except for treason and murder.  The Children Act 1908 banned the execution of juveniles under the age of 16, and in 1933 the minimum age for capital punishment was raised to 18 under the new act  ‘Children and Young Persons Act 1933’.

So, what is my opinion on the death penalty? Do I think it should be brought back?

My answer to that question isn’t as simple as yes or no. I cannot sit here and say yes it should be brought back and leave it at that, because my answer is a lot more complex than a yes or no answer would give.

Do I believe the death penalty is a cruel punishment for a crime? Dependant on the crime, no I do not believe it is a cruel punishment for a crime. It was called capital punishment for a reason, to offer the maximum amount of punishment for ‘capital’ crimes such as felony crimes like murder. That being said, I do believe there should be terms and conditions to the death penalty, it should only be given out at the judges discretion and only criminals who have committed felonies should be given the death penalty sentence. I think old age England did give unfair treatment to criminals for crimes they committed, but that was a different era and other the centuries we saw the reform of the death penalty offer some rights to criminals that did not commit felony crimes.

Why do I believe we should bring back the death penalty? That’s not a simple question and I don’t have a straightforward answer. Like I said earlier, I do believe the death penalty should be brought back for crimes that are a felony. No, I don’t think someone should be executed for selling drugs, possession of drugs, shoplifting, fraud, robbery, manslaughter, computer crime, drunk driving (unless the drunk driving causes death of another person), extortion, embezzlement, identity theft or harassment. These crimes are unacceptable and I would not want to these people to walk free. I would want them to go to prison and stay there for as long as the judge sees fit for their crime. Do I believe their crime is that severe that they should be sentenced to death for it? No, no I don’t. Yes, I think someone who purposely takes the life or rights away from another person or multiple people should be punished, they’re sentence should be capital punishment. People may think I am heartless and don’t care about the rights of humans because I do think that some criminals deserve the death penalty but I am not heartless, I just tend to side with the victim in most situations. Why? Because at the end of the day, unless the ‘victim’ wasn’t really a victim, and was the criminal who committed felonies themselves, they don’t deserve to have their rights taken away.

Tell me, since when is the criminal entitled to more rights then the victim. The girl who was raped, tortured and killed isn’t here anymore, but her rapist and murder is and he is sitting in prison, heart beating, eating, drinking, sleeping, seeing his family, and possibly making friends. He’s LIVING AND BREATHING, while she is not living her life, like she would be, had he not taken that from her. Why does he now deserve rights? Where were her rights when he took what he wants from her, validated her body and took her life away.

I am not heartless, I am not mean. I am not out there seeking revenge. I just simply think justice isn’t being served. We are so unbelievably lenient on criminals. Punishments in this country DO NOT meet the crime and 80% of brits agree that we are ‘TOO SOFT’ on crime.

It isn’t just a question of ethics, it isn’t just about what you believe is right and wrong. In my opinion, it’s also about the stats. Had the stats been in favour of the death penalty being abolished I’d probably have a different opinion. But, like I said this country is so unbelievably lenient of criminals, and the criminals know that. In fact 47% of convicts reoffended in the first year of release from prison. Many people worry DAILY about being a victim of a crime. If criminals had longer sentences for non-felony crimes maybe they’d deter from committing a crime again, knowing how long they’d spend in prison. Criminals that commit a felony should stay in prison for life. And by ‘life’ I don’t mean 15 years with the possibility of parole. I mean LIFE. Their whole life, without a possibility of parole!

Jack Straw, who was Labour’s Home Secretary from 1997 to 2001,  argued that criminals should serve longer sentences, to allow more time to help offenders give up crime through ­rehabilitation schemes.

“The fact there is a high reoffending rate for people who come out is not an argument for not putting them in prison,” he added.
“If they are in for a short time there is not much chance of rehabilitation. A long time can straighten their brain out.” – Jack Straw

It is honestly quite daunting to check out the crime stats for this country as for the most part the crime rates have done nothing but constantly rise. Now, some crime stats do look like they’ve dropped in recent years but as far as I know, none of dropped past the crime stats recorded for the years before 1965. So, in short, crime has been higher in the 30 years then it was pre 60s. Scary thought. In 1965, the death penalty was abolished and the number of homicides was 325 throughout the year. In 2001/2002 the number of homicides in a year rose to 897. Now, I don’t know for certain that if the death penalty was brought back for felony crimes that the homicide rate would fall, but considering the stats since the abolishment of the death penalty, I would say that the reason crime has risen has a little something to do with the death penalty not being around anymore.

Personally, I believe this country needs stricter punishments for criminals, especially those who commit felony crimes like; Rape, murder, paedophilia and terrorism. Maybe the death penalty doesn’t need to come back for crime stats to fall, maybe we just need longer, stricter sentences for the criminals who commit these crimes. Harder sentences may make people think twice before committing a crime, or reoffending. And for the criminals that we know cannot change, give them life imprisonment.

My opinion is my own and I do believe the death penalty has its benefits. I, of course think it also has its disadvantages and I am more than aware many innocent people died due to being found guilty of a crime they did not commit. But, in a day and age that is full of technology and science, I am sure if forensic evidence can prove someone committed a crime, they’re most likely guilty. I think there should be elements to the death penalty conviction if it came back. For instance there should be forensic evidence, multiple witnesses, CCTV footage (of the crime, of them leaving the crime-scene, of them disposing of evidence or of them buying the weapon used), police evidence and proof of intention to harm the person(whether by taking their life or raping them etc). If some of this evidence is missing, but they’re still found guilty and there is enough evidence to prove they did it but not enough for the death penalty, give them life in prison with no possibility of parole.

 

 

 

 

 

Important things you should do before getting a Kitten

Getting a new pet can be an exciting time. But, a lot of people overlook some of the most important pieces of information about the animal they’re going to get. Which can lead to a stressful transition for both you and your new pet. There is quite a lot you need to know before owning any kind of animal, but one animal I want to talk to about today that is one of Britain’s most popular pets, with around 49% of British adults owning a cat, it is safe to say that they’re well liked all around the country. I have owned pets for most of my life and I have recently become a cat owner since moving into my new flat. Since getting my new little kitten Ramsay, I have learnt a lot of new things. Here is my list of most important things you should consider and do before getting your first kitten or cat.

 Do your research

One of the most important pieces of advice I would give someone who was thinking about getting a kitten or cat to add to their family, would be to research. Hundreds of animals end up homeless or in rescues because people bought a pet on impulse without doing the proper research. Not doing your research before getting a new pet is so damaging to the animal. There are a lot of sites online, as well as books you can buy in pet stores that can help you educate yourself on all the needs of the pet you are looking at getting. You don’t need to spend lots of money while doing your research, there are a lot of sites that offer free advice to prospective owners. Just spend a few hours doing your research, not only on what the cat needs, but also on his behavior, how to train him, the correct weight for his age, how he should be developing, and what the correct food to feed him is. I also watched a few YouTube channels to prepare myself, including Kitten Lady. Although she mainly focuses on Neonatal kittens, her channel has helped me prepare for Ramsay before I went and picked him up. The more research you do, the more you are prepared for your new pet.

A good article to look at is this one published by the Blue Cross  – https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-advice/caring-your-kitten

Another good website to look for advice would be PetMD – https://www.petmd.com/cat/centers/kitten/nutrition/evr_ct_kitten_feeding_schedule

Set up a schedule

 litter cleaning, feeding, preventative medicine treatment and weight watching

During your kittens first year, as they’re growing into adult cats, you should be keeping an eye on their food intake, as well as their weight. How I do this is by following a guideline set online for food weight. Right now Ramsay eats half a sachet of kitten meat and 25g-30g of dry kitten food each day. He also has a few treats during the day, normally given as a reward for good behavior. Keeping an eye on your cats weight is extremely important as you do not want them to gain too much weight or lose too much weight. A good way to keep track of your kittens weight and how much they should be eating is to set up a few schedules beforehand. I just bought a cheap little notebook to keep all this information in, but you can of course use scrap paper or even your computer to keep this information logged.-You can find a lot of helpful information online to help you set up your schedule. You can also ask your local vet for some guidelines or use the side of the food box to help you. I log my kittens weight weekly right now, making sure he is progressing the way he should be, but a monthly weigh in would be just as okay. These schedules help you stay prepared as your kitten grows up. Cats hate a dirty litter tray, so setting up a schedule for cleaning the litter tray could also be beneficial if you want your new pet to continue using the litter tray instead of your carpet or floors. It is important to flea and worm your kitten and cat. Fleaing should be done once a month and you should start worming a kitten before they reach 12 weeks. If you need more advice on this, you can contact your local vet. Keep a log on when you last gave your kitten these treatments so you know when he is due his next dose.  How many schedules you make and how detailed you make them of course is up to you.

If you live in the UK, you can get your fleaing and worming treatments from you vet or from pets stores like Pets At Home. Here is some more helpful information on ticks, fleas and worms –  http://www.petsathome.com/shop/en/pets/pet-talk/pet-care-dog-health-fleas-ticks-worms

Check out this article by Pets4Homes if you want a little more information about why it is important to have your kitten or cat on a feeding schedule  https://www.pets4homes.co.uk/pet-advice/cat-food-calories-and-how-much-to-feed.html

 

Be Prepared 

Get everything you need BEFORE you pick up your new family member

Being prepared an getting everything you need beforehand can help your new pet settle in a lot faster and prevents a lot of stress. There are hundreds of articles online, all with lots of information as to what you should buy before getting a kitten or cat, so I will just briefly go over what I think is important to have before you go collect your new kitten.

• Litter Tray – get a litter tray with low walls so your kitten can jump in and out easily
• Litter – I use wood pellet litter, its better for the environment.
• Food Bowls  – Get two separate bowls, as cats don’t like the double bowls.
• Collar – Get a kitten collar to start with and when he is bigger, upgrade to a cat collar
• Kitten Food – It is important you get food for kittens as it has all the nutrients their growing bodies require. Most people suggest getting wet food to start with as it contains a lot of water, which help prevents bladder issues for kittens.
• Goats Milk – Of course you can give them kitten milk, but goats milk is cheaper. Do not give them cows milk as they are unable to digest it and it can make them sick.
• Scratching Post- to keep your new kitten from scratching your furniture, get a post. You can get them quite cheap online these days.
• Toys – Kittens love to play, so get them a whole range of toys to play with, balls that rattle, fake mouses and tunnels are some of my kittens favourite toys. You don’t have to spend lots of money, get creative and make your own toys, just make sure you use pet safe materials.
• Grooming supplies – I use a grooming glove which I got online for a couple pound.
• Cat Bed  – Cats often decide where they want to sleep, mine sleeps on the bed with us, you can also buy them a bed or just cut a box up and place a blanket in there for comfort.
• Fleaing and Worming treatments – you can buy these monthly or in bulk.
• Treats – treats are great for rewarding good behaviour in your kitten. As they are learning, they will pick up on what to do and what not to do by how you train them.

Get all these things above and you will be well prepared for your new arrival. Another thing I suggest is to get everything out and ready for when he arrives. You don’t want to scrabble around setting up the litter tray and toys when your new kitten has just arrived. I got all of Ramsay’s stuff ready the night before we went and collected him.

Get the Kitten registered at the Vet

When you get your new pet, look for a local vet that has good ratings. Most places simply require you to call or email them to register your new pet with them. Once registered, you should get them booked in for their first and second vaccinations. Once they have been vaccinated, you should think about getting them neutered. Neutering your cat is extremely important, not only to prevent your cat from getting pregnant, or getting another cat pregnant, but to also help prevent diseases and illnesses like Cancer.

If you need help with costs of neutering, Cat Protection and the PDSA can help you with those costs. Check out the Cat Protection site for more information on why it is important to get your cat neutered and how they can help with the costs   https://www.cats.org.uk/what-we-do/neutering

Set aside some time

Kittens, much like babies need attention. Although they don’t need attention 24/7 as they are able to feed themselves, go the litter tray and keep themselves entertained. They still need you to implicate many things in their lives so they can grow up to be a well behaved cat. A kitten has fed of his mother for the first 8 weeks of his life, now he’s not got his mothers milk, he needs to eat solid food. Sometimes you may need to show your kitten where his food is and place him near his water and food bowls to remind him. He may well be litter trained, however there is no harm showing him his litter tray every few hours as he may forget where he needs to go and wee on our carpet… or bed. Reminding him to use the litter tray is really important his first few weeks with you. Playing with your kitten is really important. You can do this by getting a mouse on a string – this way your kitten is getting the necessary exercise, playing and spending time with you. You don’t need to be with your new kitten all of the time, but taking some time out of your day to spend time with him may be beneficial to your relationship with him and his development. If you need to go out, decide on an area in which you feel most comfortable leaving him. An area with no wires or carpet is your best bet. We put out kitten in the bathroom when we are out. This way he has the whole bathroom to roam around in and things to jump up on and watch his surroundings. I just make sure the toilet seat is down and the window is closed. I make sure there is nothing he can chock on like bobbles or clips. I put his water and food bowl, his tunnel, his batting game, his favourite toys, his litter tray and a blanket in the bathroom to keep his happy and comfortable.

One piece of advice that I would give to anyone looking to get a kitten, cat, puppy, dog or any other pet is Adopt Don’t Shop! So many animals out there are in need of a home, give them a second chance! I think adopted animals are the ones with the most love to give.

Other than that, enjoy your new addition to the family, and tag me in some pictures on Instagram or twitter with the tag @lifeasshanx 

 

 

TV Networks are digging their own graves.

It’s no secret that traditional TV networks are on the decline. In an age in which online screaming networks like Netflix and Amazon Prime, TV networks are struggling to keep ratings up.

Why do people prefer to watch their TV shows from platforms like Netflix and Amazon Prime? Well I would say the top reason is ease. It is so easy to simply download an app, pay monthly for a subscription and claim all the benefits not available to you when purchasing TV packages along with your broadband.

The top three reasons I use online streaming platforms is because they work out cheaper these days, the selection is better and you have the benefit of not having to view ads. Now, I wouldn’t solely blame TV networks for their own decline. We evolve and change, just like the ‘walkman’ turned into the ‘cd player’, the ‘mp3 player’ and most recently Ipod. Radio isn’t as popular now because of these music streaming platforms like Spotify. Radio still exists of course, it just isn’t as popular as it was 20 years ago, so I don’t believe TV networks will go extinct – not any time soon anyway. That being said, most are killing their remaining viewers with shit content which has been brought onto the network to try and boost ratings and therefore bring in more money. But that’s where they’re killing their own networks. They’re hanging the noose around the already battered network.

You ask people all around the world why they watch TV and most will say ‘for entertainment purposes’. Some people watch TV for a thrill, for a laugh, for a cry. They watch for an escape. An escape from reality and the world we live in. And, lets face it, we live in a time in which an hour escape each day would be of benefit. The reason I personally feel so strongly about this subject is because I have been there. I used TV shows as a vise. A fictional world in which my problems didn’t exist and I could lose myself in a story. Growing up watching fictional characters like Olivia Benson have shaped who I am today and those characters are IMPORTANT. They’re so fucking important.

So, why are TV networks like CBS and Fox cancelling shows that have a massive fan-base and tell important stories? Money. It all comes down to money. I know how the world works, the world wouldn’t function without money. But why are already *filthy* rich networks cancelling shows with amazing content and actors for reality tv? More money. What they do not realize is that they’re digging their own graves by cancelling these shows for more reality TV. Why? Well, because we already have dozens of reality shows across all the networks. Another reality show is just going to flop in an already busy current genre type.

Simply, networks are cancelling shows from Drama, Scifi, Crime, Fantasy, Comedy and Action because they aren’t getting the rating for them anymore, which is probably because of the online streaming services that are taking over – this isn’t the networks fault though. They’re replacing these shows with reality TV with the hopes that it will get their ratings back up, meaning money, money, money.Which, is their fault. But, why can’t they see it is this very action that is causing the decline of their network? Cancelling shows and replacing them with reality shows that WILL flop is a massively stupid move to take, and they’re all slowly doing it. They’re all making the same mistake and soon TV will only be good for one thing – reruns.

I wrote a post a few months ago when FOX decided to cancel Brooklyn Nine Nine even though it was still reeling in a good amount of views each week. Why did they cancel a show that clearly has a HUGE passionate fan base? Well, to make space for more of the same that will flop after a few seasons. They had a solid show with Brooklyn Nine Nine, the show was doing everything right. The cast was right, the characters represented important people and the story-lines were enjoyable every week. It was a great 20 minute comedic escape. Thankfully for us fans and probably to the regret of FOX in a year or so, NBC picked it up for another season.

NBC is a network I still very much respect in terms of their ability to understand the importance of a good TV show. NBC brought us shows like Friends, The Fresh Prince, the Chicago One franchise (med, fire and pd) and the Law and Order franchise, including the impressively long aired spin off Law and Order Special Victims Unit which is about to go into its 20th season this coming September.

This blog post was wrote after I found out about the cancellation of a newly found show I have come to love – Code Black. There are a lot of medical dramas out there right now, but Code Black did it different. They didn’t add all the unnecessary love drama that most medical dramas include these days *cough* Grey’s Anatomy *cough*. I know, it’s shocking right… a medical drama that included no sex in the hospital! Instead, it was loved for its fast paced, intense view of what a hospital looks like when it is in ‘CODE BLACK’, which is described as ‘an infux of patients so great, there aren’t enough resources to treat them’. But, of course CBS cancelled the show – prematurely. The show was made great by the actors and stories. It was a medical drama that was more medicine and less drama and I liked the change of pace that this show offered. I am kind of pissed it was cancelled to be honest.

I used to have a list longer then my arm of shows that I watched on daytime and evening tv but now – except reruns, its very rare I will actually watch tv anymore. I have now got to put all my hope on online screaming services like Netflix and Amazon Prime with shows like The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel to bring me good quality content in future.

A Goodbye Letter To My Home Town

I’ve lived in Liverpool my whole life. 20 years of memories, mistakes and lessons learnt. I fell in love for the first time here, had my heartbroken for the first time here. I’ve grown up here, matured here. It’s my home – it was my home.

I am not ashamed of being from Liverpool. A lot of people see Liverpool as a bad place. But, for me at least, Liverpool was never a bad place. In fact Liverpool is a place full of personality and history. It’s simply the terrible memories and bad people I can no longer ignore. I will always remember my days out with my dad – he would take me everywhere. He was proud of Liverpool. I remember the friends I have made here, the ones I have lost and the ones whom are still in my life today. I remember the people who changed my life. The ones that shaped who I am today. The ones who got me here today.

Regardless of the good memories I have in this place, it is forever tinted with the bad stench of the many sad and painful things that have happened to me here. Sadness is an emotion I am more then familiar with. Pain is a feeling I have felt most of my life.

I have tried to ‘turn over a new leaf’ here in Liverpool many times. It took me a long time to realise that I wasn’t failing at that task because I was failure but because it is impossible to start over in a place that pain follows you around. I take a bus somewhere and I pass places I once smiled in, places I once cried in. These places make my stomach turn and my eyes water. They bring me actual pain. A place and a memory is causing me pain. Like a sinking in my heart. I have had enough of that feeling.

My mental illness is something I have been coming to terms with for a few years now. I have good days and bad days. But, I am here. That has to count for something. I took the medication. I went to the therapy and yet my pain hasn’t gone. ‘It takes time’ they tell me. ‘You’ll get better soon’ they said. ‘You’ll get back on your feet one day’ they promised. When those things didn’t happen within the months and years of hearing the words, I started to wonder why nothing was changing for me. Why wasn’t I getting better? Was this it for me? Forever the girl who is known for her depressive episodes and dark thoughts. I started to realise that part of my depression was demolished whenever I stepped outside of Liverpool. Leaving Liverpool was like a massive wake up call for me, every time I left. It was like the air was different, clean of the misery I felt back home. It was like the concrete had been lifted from my body and I could breathe and move again. I was happier, I was me. I was free. I felt so free. It was around this time I made the decision that moving was the best thing for me. For my health and for my sanity.

I close my eyes and I see my life in flashes. The smiling, the joking, the laughing, the crying and the screaming. I see the people I care about leave, being hurt or dying. I see myself hurting, wanting to leave, wanting to die. I see my friends and my family confused and worried for my well being. I think about my future in Liverpool and I see nothing – I literally see nothing. A massive black hole. I see nothing, I hear nothing. The thought of not being able to see a future here ate me alive. For the first time in a long time, I wanted to see a future for self and I couldn’t. It almost broke me.

When I met Ben and we started making plans that went past a life in Liverpool, I started seeing a future. A light came through the darkness in that black hole of nothingness. I realised that I could be someone, I realised that I didn’t need to live my life out in a black hole. I could leave and get better. I could smile and laugh again and have it be a real smile and real laughter. We made plans and I felt like I was going to make it out of this.

I love Liverpool. My accent will always be with me. I will always be proud of my home town and its history. Most people in the UK know about Liverpool, its history and most importantly our accent! And, I am proud of that. I love my mum will all my heart and she brought me up here, I went to school here. I have too many memories here to just forget them. Liverpool will always be the place I was born, the place I grew up, it will always be the place I come from. And, I hope my accent and fast talking stays with me because I don’t want to loose what this place gave me. It’s just time to move on. Start fresh. Begin again. It’s time to enter my 20s somewhere new and end this part of my life here.

Goodbye Liverpool.

Shannon x