What am I feeling right now? They say write about what you feel right now but truthfully does anyone even want to know how I feel right now? Because I don’t have some glitter to sprinkle on this shitty situation, there is no silver lining right now, there’s no nothing right now. I can’t write a piece about staying positive and bouncing back because right now, at this very minute I wouldn’t even believe it so how am I meant to get others to believe it. I can’t be smiles and laughs all the time and some people in my life find that hard to comprehend. I can’t give anyone the ‘It’s going to be alright’ speech right now because I don’t even feel alright.
I’m lost, I’m confused, hell I’m angry. I don’t know what else to say, I have no way to solve my problems right now, I do what people tell me to do, apply for unemployment, keep yourself busy, apply for new jobs. I do it all but what do I do about my passion? I don’t want to write, I can’t find something I want to write about, I feel like writing is a big part of who I am but my feelings have ruined so much in my life so why are they going to help me now? They aren’t, that’s how I feel right now.
I’m feeling hopeless, its pointless, its the same but its different all at once and none of it makes sense, I don’t make sense, I cant barely string together a sentence right now, how am I meant to form a quality blog post? Well I can’t, so I’m offering this piece instead, a piece written by me at a moment of confusion and anger and lose. I have nothing to say right now, I don’t want to say anything right now.
That’s how I am feeling right now.