Letting Go.

Walking away from someone is a decision I’ve had to make a couple times in my life so far and I’m pretty sure I’ll have to do it a few more in the years to come. In the past I’ve found it so hard to walk away from certain people because they meant so much to me that its hard to leave that person in your old life. I hate walking away from people even if i know its for the best, lately I’ve thinking a lot of who I need in my life and who I don’t and it’s been so hard to come to terms with the fact there are some people in my life right now that I will benefit walking away from, at least for now anyway. If I’m making the decision to walk away from a relationship such as a partner or friend or even family member, it takes me along time to make that decision and that person must have done something really bad or upsetting for me to feel I have to step away from that relationship. I’ve walked away from an intimate relationship before, for my own safety and well-being but, it was never as hard as the feeling I’m feeling right now about leaving other people such as old friends in my past and letting go. The decision to leave certain people in my past occurred a couple of months ago when my old high school friends (after years of drama in high school and treating me like crap) decided to message me after months of not talking to me. I realised that moment I didn’t want these girls in my life because they upset me so much in high school, they spread rumours about me and treated me like they was better than me because i was broken and hurt from a previous relationship of abuse. That decision was easy and quick and I blocked them on social media sites, so they couldn’t message me and start drama again and so they didn’t get to see what I’ve been doing with my life since leaving high school 7 months ago. I’m happy with that decision and I’ve benefited from it. It was all pros on leaving them behind and no cons. Now I’m in that place again but with a boy, I didn’t go to high school with but he was always a close friend, at times more than a close friend and now i think its time that i need to leave that friendship behind for a couple reasons. For a long time this boy was there for me but then that started to slip. For months now he’s been coming in and out of my life and I don’t think its fair. every once in a while he’ll message me and talk for a little while then won’t talk to me for months and I always allowed it because i just assumed he had a lot on, but I know it was just a load of crap, he had time he just didn’t want to spend it on our friendship any more and I would have been fine with that if it wasn’t for the fact he’d message me and get me thinking ‘are we friends?’ and then after not talking to for about a month I’d think ‘obviously not, he hasn’t spoke to me in a month’. A friend would make an effort right? I still stuck with the on an off friendship until this month, he pulled the last straw that was holding our friendship together. I needed him, I needed someone who understood my anxiety and depression, I needed a person for a little while one night when I was very upset and I messaged him thinking he understood and instead, me asking for help backlashed on me. He said I was attention seeking and all these horrible things because he didn’t understand and he was being ignorant about the subject. It killed me. I broke down even more and then and there I realised, that’s not what a friend would do, that’s not what I’d do if someone I cared about needed me for a little while. I’ve spent this whole month going over the pros and cons (because that’s what I always do when making a decision). I don’t want to do this to a friendship I’ve tried so hard to keep, but there comes a time where you have to realise sometimes walking away is the best thing. I know in the long haul that it is best for me. Walking away seems to be the best thing for you sometimes. Its made me mentally stronger. I know now that the people, family and friends i have around me are the best people to make me stronger and happier again in the near future. I just hope everyone is able to walk away from certain people in their lives so they can have a brighter, happier, stronger future because it is hard to walk away sometimes and it feels so upsetting , but in the long haul sometimes its the best thing you have done.


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