Over the past couple of years of being a teenager, I have found out that relationships are a very important part of your life. Im not just talking about Relationships between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband, I’m talking about all relationships. Relationships with your friend, Family and people who are around you a lot. The last couple of years a lot of my relationships have broken, but iv also made new ones. Once a couple of relationships break In your life you then realise how important they are. The type of friends you have and the way you act around them says a lot about your self. That also goes for someone you start an intimate relationship with. Iv seen in the last couple of years in my life a few intimate relationships, friendships and family members disappear from my life. Its been so hard to deal with but I have dealt with it because I know ill move on. In the last 2 years I have lost a lot. I have also gained a lot and I know from my experiences that im a totally different person now to who I was then. Lets go back to when I was 14. At 14 I liked this boy who didn’t like me back, mainly because he didn’t really know me and because id never told him how I felt. Anyway, I argued with my mum ALOT and ended up spending a lot of time with friends. At this age id fallen into a friendship group that was totally different to who I was, I believe they changed  me, but they also shaped who I am today. Before them id sit in the class, not saying a word and hang around with about 2 other girls who were like me, id never go out much. School and family were just pretty much my life. So when this group of people accepted me into their group, I was nervous about the change but happy. I started going out most nights, I hung out with a big group of boys and girls in school, started to wear makeup, dress differently, I started talking to boys and most of all I gained a little confidence. I was able to speak up in class, I even got moaned at my teachers for being load and talking and months before I would have been so ashamed but not I did care. I loved all this at the time, it was new and exciting for me it was a real high school experience I wanted since I left primary school. With this new group of friends I was happy, all except one thing. A boy. I thought I needed an intimate relationship to be completely happy. That’s really not true and I know that now. I wanted a relationship, so I tried to get one. That’s pretty much how I got with my first real boyfriend. 6 months that relationship lasted, I wish it had never happened, I so wish he wasn’t my first kiss. He wasn’t a nice lad, I rushed into it. I thought what he did to me was normal because I never told my friends for them to say it isn’t and id never had a relationship like that before. Long story short, At the age of 15 I didn’t have a boyfriend. I had about 2-3 friends again because everyone left my side. And my dad was very sick. I finally thought before 15 that everything was going to get so much better but my 15th birthday came and nothing was, I didn’t even feel like celebrating. Everything was just so crappy. So at 15 I was depressed, trying to get over an abusive relationship with no REAL friends by my side and all my hope went into my dad being okay and getting throw this. The year was the worst! My dad died in year 11, I had to sit exams that could change my future if I failed and all I felt was pressure and everyone waiting on me, to have someone to be proud of. I have to say leaving school was the best thing iv ever got to do. No more walking  around and hearing  people talking about you and knowing all your life, to sit in classes with people who were once your friends, the ones who spread the rumors, made them up and made my life so much worse then it needed to be. Walking into college with no one knowing about me was probably the most amazing thing and most relived id ever felt before. My dads death was almost a year ago, My friends from my past are gone and I have new friends and well as a bright healthy, happy future. Im so glad to have that. Finally. Yes, there are still relationships I would love to mend, some people id love to slap{but I wont} and some people I wish was still around like my dad. But I live in the present not the past now. Im saying all this because I want people to know, whatever your going throw, yes I agree relationships have a big impact on the way your life leads. But you are you and the decisions that you make are yours and whether they are bad ones or good ones doesn’t mean one day you wont  go on to do amazing things. I know there are people out there going threw worse then I have, but I can say with my experience that its hard. Not to sugar coat it, its really hard. But you’ll get through it with the right help, people and time. Whatever your going through remember there’s always time to change things.

I am in college, have lovely, trust worthy friends, doing a course iv wanted to do since I was 10. Im happy were I am, I have bad days, yes. But I have more good days then bad. Family life is great. Sometimes I find it hard to say im happy because I haven’t felt it in a ling time but now I feel it sometimes.

I don’t know why, but I cant give up

if you feel like giving up, look at how far you have came already.


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