I Can Fake A Smile

This blog was inspired by the song human. I have listened to this song so many times and know all the words and as I think about my own life, I feel like so much fits in with the lylics of this song. I’m one of those people who loves music because of the emotional attachments to it. I have songs I listen to while sad and happy. The type of music we listen to defines us in a way in my opinion. I have playlists Dedicated to all the different moods I have, happy ones, party ones, love ones, sad ones and depressed ones. I like such a range of music because I have a large range of moods I’m always in and depending on my mood sometimes I’ll skip throw most of my songs till I find that one that fits my current moods and replay it like mad. This one song Human had me thinking, know much of the last 2 years iv actually  faked a smile, a laugh or broke down. This song tells me that it’s okay to break down, and that everyone fakes a smile sometimes and we’re not always happy and life isn’t always perfect and you know why? Because we are human. Everytime I smile I have honestly don’t know if it’s fake or real anymore, because iv spent so long faking smiles to stop the tears, to stop the straight face or people asking why I’m so sad. Faking a smile or laugh seems to much easier then explaining to everyone why I’m not actually  happy.No ones life is perfect, everyone has days were they don’t want to smile, laugh or do anything for that matter, but we do anyway. We fake smiles because everyone else smiles and seems so happy but theirhuman too, they are probably faking half their smiles. If we all stopped faking smiles and laughs, I wonder how we would all look? The happy life’s we talk about and post of social media are mostly fake. We post what we want people to see, not pictures of us curled up in bed crying, sad and unhappy. We don’t post this do we? But I don’t understand why because it’s so obviously that we all get sad and cry sometimes so why not show that part of are life, it’s more normal and natural then that picture of you smiling and laughing. Maybe if we stopped faking the smiles then we could actually learn to make our smiles real. I wish it was that easy though because there are days were a real smile seems difficult to achieve, but if we think positive maybe we could have a couple real smiles a day? If I’m being completely honest the last couples days have been amazing for me and iv overcoming a lot of fears and my laughs and smiles have felt very real and genuine, which makes me very happy.  I wish I could say that we can get to a point in our lives were the fake smiles and the broken hearts will stop but I don’t think that’s ever going to happen. I wish I was happy enough not to fake the smiles and laughs and not be hurt at least once every couple days. It would be amazing to wake up and feel the way I felt year ago when I was innocent to the harsh truth of lose and heartbreak. I wish I’d never experienced the feelings I have because some have truly broken my heart. Sometimes when I think about the past I can start crying, so my fake smile covers that to people, I wish it wasn’t a fake smile though. I wish I was that happy girl I was 3 years ago, maybe I never will be again. But I guess that’s okay because were are all only human and it’s normal right? I hope.